NEW MUSIC
ELECTRONIC ROCK NEWS
03-06-2023 17:37 GMT
MIRACLE!
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| Music industry update | Seoul, South Korea | Indie band, Love X Stereo |
Let’s start afresh on a new page, let me introduce myself first and then we’ll go from there. And don’t worry, we’ll get to the music news part, lemme just warm up for a minute. It’s my first day writing here and I’ve been given specific instructions that I must follow, to make my boss happy – I don’t eat ass but sometimes I kiss it a little bit to make her happy, she really likes that. Oh wait, did I mention that my girlfriend, the girl I was talking about earlier was my boss? Yep, I'm totally hitting that. Sadly, I suspect I’m not the first one in the office she’s dated, that’s another reason I’ve been thinking about ditching her - I’ve been hearing things, but let’s move on.
The instructions I was given was that no matter what I write about I must touch on 3 specific subject matters every single time: Jesus, p*ssy and dollars; or else my articles would be rejected. I think I’ve almost got the pussy cat part covered so let’s quickly finish that up and then we’ll have just two left to go and then we’ll get down to the music news story of the day that you came here for. You can read the original “Jesus, p*ssy and dollars” article written by one of my colleagues [here] so you know I’m not bullsh*tting you when I say I’ve been told I must do this.
Now, I’m one of the older and significantly more mature writers here in the SRL writers room so please excuse me if I use big words like condoms, and heterosexual, and compact dicks (oops!! I meant compact discs).
Now, I’m one of the older and significantly more mature writers here in the SRL writers room so please excuse me if I use big words like condoms, and heterosexual, and compact dicks (oops!! I meant compact discs).
I’m not a couchie monster like all these young f*ckers that eat everything and walk around in torn, dirty clothes with expressionless eyes looking like Dua Lipa in that Michael Jackson Thriller video. Oh you didn’t know she was in there? Watch it again, they’re all Dua Lipa. I wear a suit and a tie to work and I’m a really awesome and dignified writer but to be honest with you I haven’t always been this amazing. In fact the reason I became a writer was because my literature teacher back in school wore really short skirts and every time I was naughty she put me over her bare laps and spanked me really hard with her sweet soft palms after all the other pupils had left. Consequently, I never missed an opportunity to be naughty and I failed every test to make sure I was her worst ever pupil and she would spank me harder for tarnishing her outstanding record as an English teacher. It was all going really well for us, we had such an amazing relationship, that she obviously didn’t know about. I even used to tell myself we were secret lovers, until one day I enjoyed it a little too much and after she was finished I moaned out the words “oh my Gaawwwd, that was so amazing”. I then gave her a soft peck on the cheek as I got off her laps and our lips touched a little bit as I got up. Just as she was about to express her rage and disgust, and as she furiously reached for the really painful cane that wasn’t exciting at all when it hit the buttocks, a full condom fell out of my shorts 🤯. Her jaws dropped, she nearly passed out from the potent mix of shock, fury, confusion, shame, reverse paedophilia and intense rage that would have been circulating inside her at the time. I wasn’t sorry at all, I was totally wasted (it was high school for God's sake, what did you expect - no one has told me what the High in High School means up till this day). I didn’t even stop to retrieve the full condom, I just left. I was due for my after-sex cigarette. To cut a long story short I had to read all the literature books and do all my outstanding homework to keep from getting expelled that year, while my classmates were out at summer camp competing to see who's fingering finger smelled strongest for longest and they weren't playing the guitar I assure you. That’s how I became a writer, that’s my story. Well, that’s the p*ssy part of my obligation covered. Let’s move on to the money part, then we’ll talk about Jesus a little bit. And then we’ll get to the news m-kay? I'll be quick, promise.
Now, what I’m about to tell you next totally doesn’t apply to you and I. We both know how awesome we are deep down inside, but we leave it unspoken (obviously) so that people think we’re really down to earth and cool. I may still use the words “you” and “I” here and there but remember, it’s not us we’re talking about, it’s "them". Wait, wait, wait, not “THEM” them, you know those fabulous ladies and gents, oops!! I mean Thems and Thems, who don’t like to be identified by their penises and boobies and clitorises? You know who I’m talking about? Well, not them - other people, that’s what I meant to say. Basically anyone who’s not as awesome and cool as you and I.
Now, what I’m about to tell you next totally doesn’t apply to you and I. We both know how awesome we are deep down inside, but we leave it unspoken (obviously) so that people think we’re really down to earth and cool. I may still use the words “you” and “I” here and there but remember, it’s not us we’re talking about, it’s "them". Wait, wait, wait, not “THEM” them, you know those fabulous ladies and gents, oops!! I mean Thems and Thems, who don’t like to be identified by their penises and boobies and clitorises? You know who I’m talking about? Well, not them - other people, that’s what I meant to say. Basically anyone who’s not as awesome and cool as you and I.
You know how people sometimes say crazy stuff like “ANYTHING can happen”? I know, crazy right? I mean, ANYTHING? Really? Can a piano fall out of the sky right now? GTFOOH!! That’s what I tell people who say that sh*t to me now, it's f*cking ridiculous. In fact I keep away from people who say stuff like that. As far as I’m concerned they are either not yet woke or, more suspect than an overweight spinster buying a cucumber at the late night supermarket – they’re up to something fishy as far as I’m concerned. See what I did there? Fishy? He-he-he. Anyway, do you know there are people in the world that have never said that? And not because they are like you and I, who obviously never EVER fail, but because they plan EVERYTHING to the last detail, much like you and I do. Let’s dedicated this whole article to everyone else who is not like us and even help them get on track and create a bulletproof life plan so that when people ask them how life’s going or how their day is going they can say “exactly as I planned”, instead of weird annoying stuff like “so and so” or “same day different shit” or “we’re still alive” or whatever people with no plans say. But why am I sure they’ll say "exactly as I planned", you may ask? And I know you know the answer already but I’ll say it anyway (for the “them” we were talking about before, who may or may not know) – because that’s exactly my plan! Obviously.
In case you haven’t guessed already, I’m known as the “Life Coach” guy here. Everyone else is choosing exciting descriptive titles to help them stand out in the news room since we are not allowed to use names or pen names for whatever reason so that’s how you can find my articles, search for the “Life Coach” guy. My articles are designed to get your life on track, so, to cut a long story short, if your life is perfect, then GTFOOH!! Just kidding, he-he-he, you’re most welcome to stay.
To be honest with you I learned most of what I know from my colleague the “Ideas Guy”. He’s a freaking nerd but he has changed many lives here in the writers room. To be honest with you I was just an okay writer before I came here but I thought I was as good as I could ever get. Now, I'm so amazing you’d think my name was God if you stood outside my bedroom window on any morning, day or night of the week for 3 minutes or more – yep, I’m pretty darn awesome and ladies totally love me now.
In case you haven’t guessed already, I’m known as the “Life Coach” guy here. Everyone else is choosing exciting descriptive titles to help them stand out in the news room since we are not allowed to use names or pen names for whatever reason so that’s how you can find my articles, search for the “Life Coach” guy. My articles are designed to get your life on track, so, to cut a long story short, if your life is perfect, then GTFOOH!! Just kidding, he-he-he, you’re most welcome to stay.
To be honest with you I learned most of what I know from my colleague the “Ideas Guy”. He’s a freaking nerd but he has changed many lives here in the writers room. To be honest with you I was just an okay writer before I came here but I thought I was as good as I could ever get. Now, I'm so amazing you’d think my name was God if you stood outside my bedroom window on any morning, day or night of the week for 3 minutes or more – yep, I’m pretty darn awesome and ladies totally love me now.
I never thought I could get rich from writing without even writing a book and a big movie script but the “Ideas Guy” totally opened my eyes to some new sh*t. When I first got here I thought he was a total d*ckhead and he needed to be more “woke” in the sense of the word that kids these days mean when they say “woke”. In other words, call things that are good “bad”, “your clothes are not brand new unless they’re torn and dirty”, “you’re not awesome unless you’ve got permanent marker all over your body”, and “you’re not doing it right if you don’t burp after eating ass (oops!! I meant tossing salad - let’s make it sound classy)” 😊. This place is riddled with them and they totally give me the heebie-jeebies to be honest. I literally cross over to the other side of the corridor and refrain from eye contact when I see them 😁, I think they are AI.
Anyway, the “Ideas Guy”’s persistent inappropriate use of emojis is getting really annoying already, that's why I think he's such a d*ckhead. I think he should just stop using them until he knows what they mean. I was going out to pick up some munchies for lunch this afternoon so I offered to pick up some things for the nerds who were still sitting at their desks working away at lunch time. I took everyone’s orders and left then I received a really annoying text message from the “Ideas Guy” that really pissed me off. It was a single egg plant emoji . I was so annoyed because somehow I understood what he was trying to tell me – he’s a vegetarian. I was even more steamed that I actually understood that sh*t. Anyway, like I said before, he changed my life, so I can't really hate him. I can call him a total douche bag, but I totally love that f*cker.
I'll tell you how it all happened. The “Ideas Guy” and I went out for drinks one day. He said it was a ritual of his, called "Day Drinking", where he goes out and gets drunk in broad day light on a day of the week, usually around the beginning, before Wednesday. It would usually end at night somehow but it starts around lunch time and he'd never actually get drunk. I got drunk within a few hours but he was perfectly fine. While I was drunk he got me to do one of his silly mental exercises (search for "the Ideas Guy" in the search bar above and the search bar on SRL Reviews to find his articles and the mental exercises I'm talking about). I had always thought they were stupid and I'd never fully understood them but I was totally wasted so I went along with it. When I woke up the morning after the first thing that flashed in my mind was a pretty ordinary hair brush in a shop window that cost $8,000,000.00 exactly. I didn’t see the name of the shop or anything else in the window but till this day I still see it every time I brush my hair and I want it really bad – in fact I’ve got to have it!
Lemme tell you how it started. I said to him (in a really slurred voice, ‘cos we were drinking Jack Daniels): “hey man, I love you man”. “I would totally love to pay for all these grossly overpriced drinks but I’m totally broke”, and then for some reason I rested my head on his shoulder and put my arm around him. He responded disgustedly and pushed me away: “love me?! What the f*ck are you talking about? You just met me”. And I replied: “I know, that’s what makes it so special”. I continued: “I’m a really amazing writer but I’m soooo broke man”. He said to me, “broke? how much have you got?” I said to him, “nothing man, nothing at all, I'm totally skint man, I'm sh shh*t”.
And then he asked me a question no one in the world had ever asked me and that I had never actually thought about prior. He said: "well, how much do you want to have?" I replied, puzzled, stuttering, confused: "I don't know? A lot?" He got so steamed, furious even and his reply was “f*ck you!”.
All I remember from that moment was really blurry so forgive me if this is not really specific. He said “you’ve got a date with a toilet bowl in the morning so I’m gonna make this quick so you don't miss it”. He said “you say you’re broke, well how much money have you got, damn it? Gimme a number!” I said “I don’t know, maybe twenty? Fifty maybe. Not very much”. He said “well how the f*ck can you say you’re broke if you don’t even know how much you’ve f*cking got in your pockets right now? That’s absolutely insane, you’re not broke you’re f*cking insane. Lemme see your wallet.” I replied defensively in a really slurred voice, “wh--a--at??” He said “take out your f*cking wallet, put your money on the table so we can count it”. We counted it. It turned out I had more money than I thought I actually had - about one hundred and twenty seven pounds and eight four pence. The last thing I remember is counting backwards from one hundred to zero and the next morning all my money problems were gone. “The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers is now included at the beginning and end of every one of my Spotify playlists to make sure I never forget to do exactly that. You know that song that goes "You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table..."
Anyway...
Phew!! That’s the dollars part of the article done, now let’s do the Jesus part and then we’ll get to the music news story. The Jesus part is so easy. It’s just an extension of the “dollars” part.
When I woke up the morning after Day Drinking with the "Ideas Guy" all I saw was a really bright light. I thought I was dead but it was the “Ideas Guy” standing over me as I awoke in what was definitely not my bed. He had let me spend the night at his house, how thoughtful of him. The glorious sunshine from the nearby windows were reflecting off his humongous extra-thick glasses into my eyes and totally blinding me. He was holding a bucket and he ushered me to the bathroom. I threw up every step of the way. He had prepared the bathroom nicely for the “date with a toilet bowl” he had predicted the night before. It was warm and cosy, I’ve never thrown up so good in my life. I’ve also never drunk too much ever since. When I was done, he brought me a glass of ginger ale and he read me a passage from the Bible, the one about the Widow who had only 3 drops of oil left in a jar and as my eyes cleared I noticed my one hundred and twenty seven pounds and eight four pence spread out in front of me on a really glamorous dressing table. His last words to me as I looked at my reflection in the massive vanity mirror with all types of lights in front of me before he left for work were “how much money have you got?”. I replied in a dazed voice with conviction, as if I was proud of it, almost like a soldier: “one hundred and twenty seven pounds and eight four pence”. He continued: “and how much money do you want”. I replied again, still dazed yet determined but with a little fierceness to it, almost like The Godfather. I even squinted my eyes a little bit: “eight million dollars”. Then he said “well you’d better count your money again, and give thanks… ” And then he started to walk away as if to say his job was done. As he walked away he handed me a hair brush like the one that had flashed in my mind just before I woke up, saying “… and brush your hair, you look like sh*t.”
I’ve had amazing hair and a fat bank account ever since.
Phew!! Well, I believe I’ve fulfilled my obligations and we can now proceed to the music news story of the day. I hope you learned something from that little story. It doesn’t just apply to money, it applies to any and everything. In fact, just before I started writing this article I did a word count on every article ever written in the SRL writers room to find the longest – and I’m pretty sure I would have broken the record by the end of this article. You know how I know? Well of course you do, remember at the beginning I said I would help “them” get on track and create a bulletproof life plan? That’s exactly what I did here. I selected a goal at the start of the article. I got focused on the goal by keeping the goal in my mind and counting backwards from one hundred to one. And then I opened a blank sheet of paper (I use Microsoft word for drafts, so a blank page, he-he-he). And then I counted the words on it – there we zero obviously, and yet I gave thanks for it, and for Microsoft Word. I then proceeded to do a word count on the longest article ever written in the SRL writers room. In other words I established a starting point and a finish line, kind of like Google maps. The goal had no other option but to be achieved because prior to even beginning I’d told myself how awesome I was, like I do every day when I wake up and every night before I bury my face into the glorious bosom of my girlfriend and pass out in ecstasy till the following morning. I haven’t counted words or tried to make this article long so I can meet my goal. Whether I accomplish my goal or not hasn’t even crossed my mind at all until mentioning it now and even then, I feel absolutely nothing as I talk about it, in fact Dua Lipa would totally worship my expressionless face and eyes right now if she saw them. Now we have a starting point (blank sheet), a destination (longest article), and the final and most important part, the vehicle to get me from start to finish (I’m awesome). And hence, goal achieved, whether you like it or not - just wait and see, count it if you don't believe me. Works like magic every single time. But I’m sure you knew that already, you’re awesome too. Okay let’s do this music news thingy.
You’re gonna be really happy you waited for the music news story of the day because it’s really big. South Korean trio Love X Stereo is back on the scene with a brand new sound and they’re bigger than ever. First of all, if you’ve never heard about this independent band before shame on you. Okay that was a little harsh, but you probably should really come here a lot more often so you don’t miss amazing things like this that could change your life and raise your bar for good music so high that Snoop Dogg would totally pass out trying to reach it. Yep, South Korea’s top independent electronic rock music trio is nothing to play with when it comes to innovative sounds and musical ecstasy. If you've never had an eargasm before, they will totally take your virginity - but in a very gentle and caring way that won't hurt, I promise. And you won't even want it back after, like Madonna. In fact since they made their debut back in 2011 no other band has been able to follow them in a live performance line-up without sounding (and probably also feeling) shitty, and these guys have played almost literally every self-respecting music festival featuring electronic rock music in East Asia, the UK and even the USA. Pretty awesome for a band that is fully independent without a record label or any sort of big financial backers to buy their shiny leather jackets and bring them hookers and really good weed after a hard day’s work right? My favourite LXS record is “Buzzin”, their very first album, but I have so many favourites sometimes I just put all their albums on repeat and tell Spotify’s sh*tty algorithms to f*ck off forever. These guys are so awesome if AI tried to recreate them there’d be a lot of small explosions in whatever circuits are involved, and a lot of smoke, but not the good smoke. I’ve tried finding a band this good to follow their songs in my Spotify playlists but everything else sounds like crap after a Love X Stereo song. They were even featured in the famous mainstream music magazine, RollingStone’s May 2023 Top 10 Rising Artists To Watch list, so you know they’re a pretty huge deal. Okay I think you get how awesome they are now. If you’ve heard them before then you know my above statements haven’t even scraped the surface of how amazing they are, but what can I say? I tried (sigh!!).
Kicking off on the 20th of May, 2023, Love X Stereo (or LXS for short) began what can only be described as a full-fledged musical onslaught that could change the world’s music landscape forever for the better before AI gets here and destroys everything that is considered "real" including music. “Lucid Dreams” an exciting single featuring an exciting new South Korean music act by the name of Da1sy Doom was released to critical acclaim as is the case with every single one of their records. Arriving more than 15 months after their last record “All 3”, which was released back in January 2022, it’s their first official new release of 2023 and every critic and fan would gladly admit that it was well worth the wait. The track was quickly followed by the release of “@ttraction”, another even more spectacular song on the 27th of May, and then the latest “Miracle City” was released today, the 3rd of June, 2023. There is talk about a lot of other new records on the way. Look out for a full review of every single one of these songs on Skunk Radio Live Music Reviews in the near future. We are also expecting a good number of exciting local, national and possibly international upcoming concert dates, online gigs and other live appearances, which can be found on the Skunk Radio Live Events page once confirmed. There are also several exciting new music videos by the sensational Seoul duo streaming now on Skunk Radio Live TV so be sure to also check them out and share them with only your very best friends who you are sure deserve it.
Well, that’s about all from me for today. I hope our time together has been time well spent. Oops!! I mean, I KNOW our time together has been time well spent - because that’s the way I planned it out to be; and I know we will meet here again really soon. So, from me the ”Life Coach” guy and the amazing couchie monsters (oops!! I meant Millennials) and nerds here at the Skunk Radio Live writers room, have a wonderful day and a bulletproof life plan.
See you tomorrow.
I was just kidding about the "couchie monsters" part obviously, I totally don’t call Millennials, Gen-zees and Hippies that, everyone’s doing it. I don’t want anyone knocking on my office door after this threatening to eat me, like that Little Red's grand mother in that scandalous children's story; that let the big bad wolf eat her - what a bad example for kids wouldn't you say?
Phew!! Well, I believe I’ve fulfilled my obligations and we can now proceed to the music news story of the day. I hope you learned something from that little story. It doesn’t just apply to money, it applies to any and everything. In fact, just before I started writing this article I did a word count on every article ever written in the SRL writers room to find the longest – and I’m pretty sure I would have broken the record by the end of this article. You know how I know? Well of course you do, remember at the beginning I said I would help “them” get on track and create a bulletproof life plan? That’s exactly what I did here. I selected a goal at the start of the article. I got focused on the goal by keeping the goal in my mind and counting backwards from one hundred to one. And then I opened a blank sheet of paper (I use Microsoft word for drafts, so a blank page, he-he-he). And then I counted the words on it – there we zero obviously, and yet I gave thanks for it, and for Microsoft Word. I then proceeded to do a word count on the longest article ever written in the SRL writers room. In other words I established a starting point and a finish line, kind of like Google maps. The goal had no other option but to be achieved because prior to even beginning I’d told myself how awesome I was, like I do every day when I wake up and every night before I bury my face into the glorious bosom of my girlfriend and pass out in ecstasy till the following morning. I haven’t counted words or tried to make this article long so I can meet my goal. Whether I accomplish my goal or not hasn’t even crossed my mind at all until mentioning it now and even then, I feel absolutely nothing as I talk about it, in fact Dua Lipa would totally worship my expressionless face and eyes right now if she saw them. Now we have a starting point (blank sheet), a destination (longest article), and the final and most important part, the vehicle to get me from start to finish (I’m awesome). And hence, goal achieved, whether you like it or not - just wait and see, count it if you don't believe me. Works like magic every single time. But I’m sure you knew that already, you’re awesome too. Okay let’s do this music news thingy.
You’re gonna be really happy you waited for the music news story of the day because it’s really big. South Korean trio Love X Stereo is back on the scene with a brand new sound and they’re bigger than ever. First of all, if you’ve never heard about this independent band before shame on you. Okay that was a little harsh, but you probably should really come here a lot more often so you don’t miss amazing things like this that could change your life and raise your bar for good music so high that Snoop Dogg would totally pass out trying to reach it. Yep, South Korea’s top independent electronic rock music trio is nothing to play with when it comes to innovative sounds and musical ecstasy. If you've never had an eargasm before, they will totally take your virginity - but in a very gentle and caring way that won't hurt, I promise. And you won't even want it back after, like Madonna. In fact since they made their debut back in 2011 no other band has been able to follow them in a live performance line-up without sounding (and probably also feeling) shitty, and these guys have played almost literally every self-respecting music festival featuring electronic rock music in East Asia, the UK and even the USA. Pretty awesome for a band that is fully independent without a record label or any sort of big financial backers to buy their shiny leather jackets and bring them hookers and really good weed after a hard day’s work right? My favourite LXS record is “Buzzin”, their very first album, but I have so many favourites sometimes I just put all their albums on repeat and tell Spotify’s sh*tty algorithms to f*ck off forever. These guys are so awesome if AI tried to recreate them there’d be a lot of small explosions in whatever circuits are involved, and a lot of smoke, but not the good smoke. I’ve tried finding a band this good to follow their songs in my Spotify playlists but everything else sounds like crap after a Love X Stereo song. They were even featured in the famous mainstream music magazine, RollingStone’s May 2023 Top 10 Rising Artists To Watch list, so you know they’re a pretty huge deal. Okay I think you get how awesome they are now. If you’ve heard them before then you know my above statements haven’t even scraped the surface of how amazing they are, but what can I say? I tried (sigh!!).
Kicking off on the 20th of May, 2023, Love X Stereo (or LXS for short) began what can only be described as a full-fledged musical onslaught that could change the world’s music landscape forever for the better before AI gets here and destroys everything that is considered "real" including music. “Lucid Dreams” an exciting single featuring an exciting new South Korean music act by the name of Da1sy Doom was released to critical acclaim as is the case with every single one of their records. Arriving more than 15 months after their last record “All 3”, which was released back in January 2022, it’s their first official new release of 2023 and every critic and fan would gladly admit that it was well worth the wait. The track was quickly followed by the release of “@ttraction”, another even more spectacular song on the 27th of May, and then the latest “Miracle City” was released today, the 3rd of June, 2023. There is talk about a lot of other new records on the way. Look out for a full review of every single one of these songs on Skunk Radio Live Music Reviews in the near future. We are also expecting a good number of exciting local, national and possibly international upcoming concert dates, online gigs and other live appearances, which can be found on the Skunk Radio Live Events page once confirmed. There are also several exciting new music videos by the sensational Seoul duo streaming now on Skunk Radio Live TV so be sure to also check them out and share them with only your very best friends who you are sure deserve it.
Well, that’s about all from me for today. I hope our time together has been time well spent. Oops!! I mean, I KNOW our time together has been time well spent - because that’s the way I planned it out to be; and I know we will meet here again really soon. So, from me the ”Life Coach” guy and the amazing couchie monsters (oops!! I meant Millennials) and nerds here at the Skunk Radio Live writers room, have a wonderful day and a bulletproof life plan.
See you tomorrow.
I was just kidding about the "couchie monsters" part obviously, I totally don’t call Millennials, Gen-zees and Hippies that, everyone’s doing it. I don’t want anyone knocking on my office door after this threatening to eat me, like that Little Red's grand mother in that scandalous children's story; that let the big bad wolf eat her - what a bad example for kids wouldn't you say?
Anyway, toodles.
