How to Turn Water to Wine - Part 2

MUSIC FESTIVALS

HIP HOP NEWS

26-03-2024 14:58 GMT

PERFECT TIMING

Music industry update | Mississippi, USA | Indie artist, Coolidge

The title of this article is “How to Turn Water to Wine, Part 2”. Look in the browser address bar and you’ll see. The second title just above, inside the page relates to the music news story we’ll be exploring today, during the course of this article. This is the case with most articles on SRL News and SRL Reviews. If that’s confusing, then this article may be too complex for you, please don’t read it or your head may explode. 

My girlfriend’s boyfriend is so annoying. He’s always doing weird stuff like texting in the middle of the night to say silly things like “I miss you” and “wish you were here with me”. What a douche! Doesn’t he work?

Anyway, last night as I was writing this article, the long awaited follow-up to my previous article “How to Turn Water to Wine – Part 1”; he texted while she was fast asleep. And yes, you guessed right, I had just waved my enormous magic wand on her (wink, wink). I hate to brag but I knocked her f*cking socks off like it was her birthday - or Jesus's birthday for that matter. She went straight to sleep right after the "baby shower" (wink, wink) without saying a word - she didn’t even wipe it off or take a bath or anything. I was amazing! 

But anyway, where were we? Ah, yes; her stupid boyfriend. He texted in the middle of the night while I was writing, so I texted him back pretending to be her and said “I’m on my period”. He replied, “OMG [excited face emoji], I’m on the way”. I know, what a sicko right? Not the response I was expecting obviously, so I panicked. I quickly texted back: “no, don’t come”. He replied: “you know I love it when you tell me not to cum [cheeky smiley face emoji]”. I replied: “I’m serious, I won’t open the door”. He replied, “I’ve got a key remember? Anyway I’m already downstairs”. Next thing, there was a knock on the door. And to tell you what a douchebag he is, he literally says “knock, knock” when he knocks on a door. To cut a long story short, here’s a knock, knock joke I knew you’d enjoy: 

“Knock, knock!!”

“Who’s there?”

“It’s Me”

“Me who?”

“Yes Me, Gǔn kāi (F*ck off)!!!! Dǎkāi mén (Open the door)!!!!”

Did I mention he’s Chinese? He-he-he. Yep, His name is literally Me Hu, I don’t know how you spell it in Chinese, but that’s his name. I’m not racist, I promise; but to be honest with you I don’t know if he’s Chinese, Japanese, or Vietnamese - I really don't know how to tell the difference. Every time we get together, all we do is drink saké and eat really spicy food till my butt hole starts cooking. I always forget not to eat too much of it,  everything tastes so amazing after too many sakés.

Okay let’s get to the serious stuff now, “How to Turn Water to Wine – Part 2”; and then we’ll get to the music news story of the day. 

A quick reminder, the title inside this page, just above the photo is the news story we’ll be discussing; and the title in the address bar is the actual title of this article which the news story is inside. Again, as I mentioned in the previous article; if that seems complicated to you, you are not ready for this. Close it and look around. Start in the mirror, and notice how there is two of everything – and everything has two parts. 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 brains – (😕) I know what you are thinking, you thought it was just one ey? See why I told you you weren’t ready for this article if you were confused about the titles? Well now you know. Yes, they seem to be fused into one, because you’ve got only one head (I hope?🤣); but those two halves do very different things; so different in fact, that I like to consider them as two separate entities. It gives me more clarity and it makes me feel really special as well. In this article we’ll be making use of both brains, so buckle up because I may say something really intelligent that you’ve never heard before sometimes; and then not explain it. If you don’t understand anything, it’s because, you, like most people, use only one of your brains most of the time – I like to use both, so one doesn’t get tired or feel left out. If I say something you don't understand, don't panic, just rest assured that your other brain understands completely and will reveal the meaning to you when you are more likely to understand.  If you are wondering why I instructed you to drink 6 extra glasses of water everyday later on in this article, well now you know - your head could severely overheat and stuff could get damaged - It feels amazing to know the future doesn't it? Don't get too excited yet, it could start to feel a little weird soon. I'm telling you the future right now so that you can think backwards to now. That's how we're going to approach this whole experiment, thinking backwards, from the wine to the water. Remember when you looked in the mirror a few minutes ago? Did you realise that the mirror was also looking into you? So in fact you weren't really looking at yourself but into yourself? Now, you be the water and assume the mirror is the wine. There is an old African saying that goes: "Water no get enemy". It's pidgin English which translates to "Water has no enemies". Throughout the course of this experiment, you must be water. Water doesn't give a f*ck who's drinking it, if it's being drunk well, if it's being treated well, if you love it, if you hate it, if you stole it, if you peed it onto somebody after drinking it, if you were drinking it from somebody's peepee, if you pee in swimming pools and at the beach, if you are a wicked person, if you are kind, if you killed a man, if you eat way too much ass or even if you worship the devil. You must be exactly like that - completely and utterly indifferent, not just to the deeds of all mankind but to any and everything you encounter in the world around you right now. General amnesty towards yourself and everyone in the entire universe is the first key that will unlock the door to success in this little project of ours. Yes, you must forgive yourself too. There are many times when you haven't been awesome and you haven't lived up to your expectations or achieved your goals; and you MUST forgive yourself right now. In fact, stop reading and say it. SAY IT DAMN IT! "I forgive me". This is really important. Now also say: "I forgive them". Now say: "I am free". And then lastly: "Everybody is free". You must do this very regularly, because let's face it, now that you know how important general amnesty is in achieving your goals, there'll probably be an asshole with a cheeky smile on their face waiting to test you every corner you turn. If you can't be water, forget about the wine. Now, close your eyes. What do you see? And don't say nothing, surely you must see something. And don't say black, that's crazy talk. Okay what if I asked you in a different way: "What are you looking at?"... I see this is getting nowhere so I'm gonna get my colleague "The Imagination Guy" in here to help you answer that question a little bit later, probably in the next instalment of this series - it is another key to achieving our goal. Oh snap! I just realised I didn't introduce myself, in case you are new here. I'm "The Ideas Guy", probably the most exciting guy you'll ever meet, but whatever. Thanks for coming, the pleasure is all yours. 

Okay let’s dive in. I’m assuming you’ve already got your empty bottle of wine, right? If you haven’t, get one. Now, you’ll need 6 small wine glasses. Line them up side by side on a table or in a cabinet you never use, the bottle first and then the glasses. Make sure it’s somewhere no one else will see them, because they’ll start asking weird questions. Fill the glasses with water and leave the bottle empty. Now let's name them to make it more fun. Start from the right to the left, going backwards from the last glass to the bottle. Name them 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and then the bottle, 9. Now shut the door and go away. Lock it if you have a key. 

Take a very deep breath. Now hold it. Keep holding it. Keep pulling in, even when you feel there’s nothing left to stretch. Keep going. Keep going. I hope you are not a smoker. Keep going. Now stop! If you are not sure you did it right, look for a mirror and turn to the side. You should look like an 18 year old hottie with really perky breasts, and you may also be making really wide crazy eyes like Nicky Minaj or even making a duck face like Kim Kardashian, but don’t worry, that’s normal. But wait, don’t exhale. Hold all that awesome oxygen in your body so it can circulate in your two awesome brains. Now breath out. Keep going. Keep going. Don’t stop yet. Keep going even when you feel like your lungs are totally empty. Keep going. If you are a smoker, you are probably already smelling things you smoked way before you were a teenager. Keep going. Okay stop. If you are not sure you have done it right, go back to the mirror again and look. You’ll look like Tom when Jerry has gone too far and he’s about to go and retaliate by doing something really sinister to him. You’re ready. 

In the next article we’ll get started. In the meantime, do this breathing exercise every day, many times a day so that your two brains are primed and ready to go when it’s time. You must also drink at least 6 small glasses of water every day until we meet here again okay? Not the ones you filled earlier on, obviously. Don’t touch those, leave them alone. Don’t even check on them or even look at them – leave them alone. And remember, don’t show anybody or tell anybody about them either, not even your best friend. Don’t worry, you can tell Jesus – he’s cool. In fact, to be honest with you, I’d be surprised if he didn’t ask you about them in a dream. You must say this and only this in response to his question: “Everything is exactly as it should be, thank you”. Don’t ask how I know what he’ll ask you, just memorise the answer 'kay? Just in case. Lastly, but most importantly, you’ll be required to perform a very simple yet 100% impossible task to the average human being before the next time we meet. Go down to your local high street and buy yourself one black sheet of A4 paper and a white pinpoint pen. You must not ask anybody for help finding it, walk down the street and into stores and search for it yourself. Don’t tell anyone what you are looking for, even if they offer their help. And don’t try to be a wise guy about it either – don’t buy a white sheet and paint it black; or don’t buy Tippex or a marker or crayon and call it a pen. The task is very possible - it is there and you will find it if you believe it is somewhere in a shop on your local high street, yet sadly, 99.9% of people will fail this task, so don’t beat yourself up about it. All that’s important is that you try really hard to find it and believe it is there somewhere – you must KNOW that someone, somewhere has them on their shelves, and is just waiting for you to come in and get them. Don’t tell anyone about this task either, just do it. Good luck with it. 

Now, let’s explore the music news story of the day. 

”Perfect Timing”, the new single by Jackson, Mississippi, US independent hip hop sensation Drevo Coolidge was announced just in time to premiere at this year’s SXSW music and arts festival which has taken place during the month of March in Austin, Texas, USA every year since 1987. Showcasing some of the world’s most exciting and new musicians, bands and producers; and bringing together fans and music industry professionals under one roof for a whopping 6 days for the purpose of exploration, discussion, discovery, networking and celebration of music, film and other media interests; it has become one of the most exciting events of its kind in recent times. This year, it commenced on the 11th of March and featured more than 200 acts from around the world including 250 (Seoul, South Korea), The Sully Band (San Diego, CA), Dumb Buoys Fishing Club (London, UK-England), NeOne Wonderer (Wolverhampton UK-England), Jon Muq (Austin, TX), YHWH Nailgun (New York, NY), LAIR (Jatiwangi, Indonesia), This Is Lorelei (New York, NY), Robby Hecht (Nashville, TN), Sam Williams (Paris, TN), Jack Barksdale (Fort Worth, TX), Laura Misch (London, UK-ENGLAND), Native Harrow (Brighton, UK-England), Jaimee Harris (Nashville, TN), Rodeo Boys (Lansing, MI), Delights (Manchester UK-England), Seafoam Walls (Miami, FL), Fust (Durham, NC), Elisapie (Salluit, Canada), Malugi (Berlin, Germany), Daydream Twins (Austin, TX), JFDR (Reykjavík, Iceland), Benjamin Walker (Chile, Mexico), poolblood (Toronto, Canada), SNACKTIME (Philadelphia, PA), HMS Morris (Cardiff, UK-Wales), Mia June (Perth, Australia), Styrofoam Winos (Nashville, TN), GRÓA (Reykjavik, Iceland), rEDOLENT (Edinburgh UK-Scotland), Vulva Voce (Manchester, UK-England), DICE (Perth, Australia), May Rio (Brooklyn, NY), Danny Bonilla (Dallas, TX), Chelsea Carmichael (London, UK-England), Venus Twins (Brooklyn, NY), BLK JKS (Johannesburg, South Africa), Night Lunch (Montreal, Canada), Laney Tripp (New Smyrna Beach, CA), The Psychotic Monks (Saint-Ouen, France), Certainly So (Nashville, TN), Mick Flannery (Cork, Ireland), Chalk (Belfast, UK-N. Ireland), Sofia Kourtesis (Berlin, Germany), Alexander Biggs (Melbourne, Australia), Sui Zhen (Melbourne, Australia), Jeannel (Berlin, Germany), The Rare Occasions (Los Angeles, CA), NOBRO (Montreal, Canada), Lindsay Beaver & Brad Stivers (Austin, TX), Ho99o9 (Newark, NJ), The XCERTS (Aberdeen, UK-Scotland), Iona Zajac (Glasgow, UK-Scotland), Meagre Martin (Berlin, Germany), HIEN (Budapest, Hungary), Los Cogelones (Mexico, Mexico), Ellie Bleach (London, UK-England), dust (Newcastle, Australian), San Gabriel (Austin, TX), Afternoon Bike Ride (Montreal, Canada), The Manatees (Southampton, UK-England), Omni (Atlanta, GA), Grandbrothers (Berlin, Germany), Caleb Landry Jones (Garland, TX), Axel Flóvent (Reykjavik, Iceland), Emma Aibara (Yokohama, Japan), Gruff Rhys (Cardiff, UK-Wales), Kali Claire (London UK-England), Sinkane (Brooklyn, NY), Glasser (New York, NY), Fat Dog (London, UK-Englan), Blue Lake (Copenhagen, Denmark), Bloomsday (Brooklyn, NY), twst (Barry, UK-Wales), Zheani (Brisbane, Australia), Lisa Morales (Austin, TX), Jon Vinyl (Toronto, Canada), HighSchool (Melbourne, Australia), Holly Macve (Brighton, UK-England), Jad Fair and the Placebos (Manor, TX), Bess Atwell (Brighton, UK-England), Tamera (London, UK-England), TRACY DE SA (Sevres, France), CURRLS (Brighton, UK-England), The Ayoub Sisters (London, UK-England), Buffalo Nichols (Milwaukee, WI), Dead Tooth (Brooklyn, NY), HALLEY (Waseda, Japan), Talia Goddess (Brooklyn, NY), Dream Nails (London, UK-England), Yb. (Brisbane, Australia), Wyldest (London, UK-England), IFE (New Orleans, LA), MØAA (Seattle, WA), Ken Yates (London, Canada), Water Damage (Austin, TX), RUBIO (Mexico City, Mexico), China Bears (Bridgwater, UK-England), Zoon (Winnipeg, Canada), ZÓRA (Budapest, Hungary), Madam Radar (Austin, TX), Miranda del Sol (New York, NY), Telehealth (Seattle, WA), Kroi (Tokyo, Japan), Tokyo Syoki Syodo (Shimokitazawa, Japan), Stuck in the Sound (Paris, France), Sofi Paez (Berlin, Germany), Bleach Lab (London, UK-England), San Saba County (Austin, TX), FAZI 法兹 (Xi’an, China), Kikuo (Tokyo, Japan), William The Conqueror (Newquay, UK-England), Alex Nicol (Montreal, Canada), Fantasy Of A Broken Heart (Brooklyn, NY), Chiaki Mayumura (Setagya, Japan), TFD (Total F*cking Darkness) (Vancouver, Canada), Soda Blonde (Dublin, Ireland), Presence (Camarillo, CA), Skateland (Austin, TX), Neon Waltz (John O’groats, UK-Scotland), Anna Vaverková (Prague, Czechia), Bad Bad Hats (Minneapolis, MN), Cha’keeta B (Austin, TX), zouz (Montréal, Canada), Friedberg (Berlin, Germany), Etta Bond (London, UK-England), JÁNA (Stockholm, Sweden), CLT DRP (Brighton, UK-England), Mama Terra (Glasgow, UK-Scotland), Pylon Reenactment Society (Athens, GA), Rory James (Edinburgh, UK-Scotland), Jazz re:freshed DJs (London, UK-England), Eleni Drake (London, UK-England), Harvest Thieves (Austin, TX), Hinako Omori (London, UK-England), Bee Bee Sea (Castel Goffredo, Italy), The HawtThorns (Nashville, TN), Emily Frembgen (Brooklyn, NY), Nagasaki Swim (Rotterdam, Netherlands), VLURE (Glasgow, UK-Scotland), Laura-Mary Carter (Brighton, UK-ENGLAND), L E M F R E C K (Newport, UK-Wales), Iris Jean (Alkmaar, Netherlands), Conchur White (Portadown, UK-N. Ireland), Lauren Housley & The Northern Cowboys (Sheffield, UK-England), The Tiarras (Austin, TX), Enola Gay (Belfast UK-N. Ireland), Plastic Palms (Turin, Italy), Lottery Winners (Leigh, UK-England), O. (London, UK-England), The View (Dundee, UK-Scotland), Texas String Assembly (Austin, TX), Earth Tongue (Wellington, New Zealand), THUS LOVE (Brattleboro, VT), beccs (Warehan, MA), Gavin James (Dublin, Ireland), PVA (London, UK-England), Dirt Buyer (Brooklyn, NY), maxime. (Montreal, Canada), SPRINTS (Dublin, Ireland), Another Sky (London, UK-England), testpress (Glasgow, UK-Scotland), Pelvis Wrestley (Austin, TX), Library Card (Rotterdam, Netherlands), Äyanna (London, UK-England), Ralphie Choo (Madrid, Spain), Yogetsu Akasaka (Tokyo, Japan), TENGGER (Seoul, South Korea), Arches (Hong Kong, Hong Kong), Chxrry22 (Toronto, Canada), Jack Harris (Cleveland, OH), PAPISA (São Paulo, Brazil), Minas (Cardiff, UK-Wales), néomí (Den Haag, Netherlands), Anna Smyrk (Melbourne, Australia), Softee (Moorhead, MN), Justin Webb (Nashville, TN), Hooks & The Huckleberries (Albuquerque, NM), Lauren Lakis (Austin, TX), Teenage Sequence (Fort Worth, TX), The Vices (Groningen, Netherlands), BROTHER DEGE (Lafayette, LA), Miranda and the Beat (Brooklyn, NY), Forest Claudette (Melbourne, Australia), Jeshi (London, UK-England), Askew (London, UK-England), YU-KA (Tokyo, Japan), Logan Halstead (Powell County, KY), Humour (Glasgow UK-Scotland), Dasom Baek (Seoul, South Korea), Tufan Derince (Diyarbakir, Turkey), DOMICO (Tokyo, Japan), HYPNOSIS THERAPY (Seoul, South Korea), Rainbow Girls (Bodega, CA), JM Stevens (Austin, TX), Elle Shimada (Melbourne Australia), Emily Barker (Perth, Australia), Swallow the Rat (Auckland, New Zealand), South Summit (Perth, Australia), Field Guide (Winnipeg, Canada), Discovery Zone (New York, NY), Akira Galaxy (Los Angeles, CA), Camidoh (Accra, Ghana), JADA (London, UK-England), Glixen (Phoenix, AZ), Pink Pablo (San Juan, Puerto Rico), Selfish Sons (Brisbane, Australia), Boy With Apple (Gothenburg Sweden), Do Nothing (Nottingham UK-England), Moody Bank$ (Austin, TX), Good Looks (Austin, TX), Izo FitzRoy (London, UK-England), OSKA (Vienna, Austria), Sycco (Brisbane, Australia), Perennial (Amherst, MA), Logan Crosby (Milledgeville, GA), She’s In Parties (Colchester, UK-England), Being Dead (Austin, TX), Juani Mustard (Viña Del Mar, Chile), Dobrawa Czocher (Warsaw, Poland), Population II (Montreal, Canada), Vera Sola (Los Angeles, CA), The Howdies (Athens, GA), Carla Geneve (Perth, Australia), Planet Giza (Montreal, Canada), Hour (Philadelphia, PA), Amis du Teche (Breaux Bridge, LA), Folk Bitch Trio (Melbourne, Australia), Ako（a子） (Himeji City, Japan), Redbud (Austin, TX), The Beatbox Collective (London, UK-England), Yo Diablo (Valencia, Spain), Angelo Moore and the Brand New Step (Austin, TX), Natalie Jane Hill (Asheville, NC), Hause Plants (Lisbon, Portugal), Gurriers (Dublin, Ireland), Sultan Stevenson (London, UK-England), Chartreuse (The Black Country, UK-England), JUANPALITOSCHINOS (Mexico City, Mexico), FONTINE (Winnipeg, Canada), Divorce (Nottingham, UK-England), Chief Cleopatra (Austin, TX) and Larry Seaman (Austin, TX). 

After delivering 2 show-stopping performances last year, Drevo was invited back again. At 12 PM, 4 PM and 8 PM at Austin’s Club Teller, he blew the roof off with 3 sensational live performances hosted by Hustle Streetz Music Group. The new track, "Perfect Timing", which was released to critical acclaim on the last day of the festival (16th of March, 2024), is still making its way through music distribution channels and will be available to stream on SRL Music once officially released. Meanwhile, Drevo’s previous hit single “MILL” continues to break barriers and open doors to new career opportunities and fan bases for the rising Mississippi star, who has dominated his local underground and independent music scenes for several years now. “MILL” is available to stream on SRL Music, and the official music video is available to watch on SRLTV – just select “Music” or “Music Videos” from the main website menu at the top of this page. More Coolidge news soon.

Have a wonderful day.

Explicit.

Born again (Jesus really wanted you to see this)

CONCERT TICKETS/DATES

HIP HOP NEWS

19-04-2023 23:25 GMT

BLCK TPE TOUR 2023

Music industry update | Mississippi, USA | Indie artist, Coolidge

I’ve never listened to music on Spotify – but I’ve got premium. Why do I have it then, you may ask? To be honest, I don’t know. Just in case, I guess. But in case what? I don’t know okay? I just have it. I listen to music on cassette or CD like a normal human being. I need something physical so I can show my appreciation or dissatisfaction physically like everything else that is real in the world. For example, if it's good I may rewind it and play it again, or if it's bad I may hit the stop button really hard, or even crush the CD or cassette with my bare hands. Or if it's really bad I may sh*t on it and send it back to the record label it came from; the options are so many. With Spotify there are not many options, not even a stop button or a dislike button. Ridiculous! I don't like that at all. 

Let's move on...

When I love someone or they’ve been really helpful, I pull them really close and plant a big wet one on them. By wet I mean I’ve always got a Chapstick and my lips are always really moist and soft - but I'm not gay, I promise. When people offend me I do exactly the same thing, but with no Chapstick. I’m not allowed to get angry or displeased anymore, that’s so immature. But allowed by who? 

Think about it for a second…

Think deeper…

Really think about what I’m saying to you, I want to make sure we’re on the same page before we get into this music news story today. 

Oh I forgot to introduce myself first. Oh wait, I can’t. We’re not allowed to use our names or pen names in here anymore. I call my pen something really dirty so you’re actually lucky I don’t have to tell you what it is. It rhymes with pot hole 😀. I gave it that name because people always told me I was sh*t when I first started writing and I never wanted to forget so that I would never stop trying to be awesome. I'm pretty awesome now. If you can't tell right now you will by the end of this exciting music news article we're about to get into. 

Since we can’t use our names in the writers room, we identify ourselves by describing each others' writing styles or what we mostly write about. If you’ve been here before you probably already know that. If you haven’t been here before, buckle the f* up. This is nothing like any of the fancy music blogs, online music magazines, or music news websites you’ve ever been to and it probably never will because unlike those nasty music junk yards promoting trash music and talking shite, we’re really awesome here and we don’t GAF.  Anyway, I’m the “Ideas Guy”. If you’ve been here before then you probably remember me from my last article when we attempted to create a brain cell. If you were unsuccessful on your first try don’t be ashamed, it takes practice. It’s really hard, in fact some people go their whole lives without ever mastering the art or even realising it exists. Read the previous article here. It opens in a new window so you can bookmark it and come back here if you don’t want to read it now.

Now, I’m never going to ever give you homework but it’s my job to reduce the ever-growing number of shallow thinkers in this new amazing TikTok world we live in today. I’ve got nothing against TikTok but I’ll never use it. Let’s move on quick, I’m feeling yukky already just talking about it – that sh*t gives me the heebie-jeebies. I've never seen so many people not in the same place giggling at the same time, so scary. 

There’s a new guy in the office, he’s called the “Imagination Guy”. He’s going to help me with today's task. While my job is to stimulate your brain and enlighten your mind, his job is to stimulate your imagination. Wait, you know your brain and your mind are two intertwined but very separate things right? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt - you knew, you’re awesome, let's move on. We may talk about it later but not today. I work closely with the “Imagination Guy” because our jobs are very closely related, but I don’t think he's like me at all. In fact he's nothing like me and you'd never find us hanging out together. Remember I said earlier that I couldn’t hate anymore? Well, I totally don’t hate him. I think he might be a little gay, his jeans are too tight, he swings his buttocks too wide when he walks, smiles too much, uses the word "amazing" too often, eats too many lollipops, wears way too many low neck t-shirts even in the winter, says my name in a really annoying way, smacks his lips and kisses his teeth too much when he talks, wears too much cologne, has too many tattoos, giggles too much, is always WAY too happy, types too slowly and glamorously - like he’s sending a letter to Paris Hilton and the keyboard is really sticky or he's just had his nails done, plays with his luxurious hair too frequently, and twirls his chewing gum WAY too much; but all in all I think he’s a pretty decent guy and I’ve got nothing but love for him – and yes, I show it with a kiss too every time I see him. He totally hates that. So here he is now to tell you about the imagination part of today's task, and then once he’s done I’ll come back to you.

This is a collaborative, cloud-based writing room so he’s going to start typing soon – hopefully he hasn’t just got his nails done and he’ll be quick, he-he-he. Okay here he comes, see you soon. 

Hey you guys, how’s everything going? Hope you’re having an awesome day, if you aren’t you will be after this little exercise. 

As the "Ideas Guy" just told you, I’m the “Imagination Guy”, and we’re going to, well, imagine some things right now to stimulate your imagination in preparation for the task he has for you today. And by the way, none of what he said about me is true – I’m not gay at all, I’ve never twirled chewing gum and I don’t smack my lips together like I’m eating something really sweet but sour when I talk; I think it’s all in his imagination. Did you know the imagination sometimes does that? Paint a picture of your surroundings based on how you feel and your convictions about the people and the world around you? What? You didn’t know? Haven’t you ever had too much to drink and then everyone around you started to look really sexy? Yep, that’s your imagination at work, in conjunction with other parts of your mind as well, but playing a pretty significant part. I think the "Ideas Guy" saw me wearing ripped skinny jeans one time back in summer and totally created a picture of me that he now sees every time he sees me, without even knowing it. I had ordered those jeans online and didn't know they were that tight. And I only wore them to work because it was laundry day and I had nothing else to wear. I've never worn them again. Hopefully by the end of this short exercise he will be able to see the real me, and you too will learn to see the world around you exactly as it is whenever you choose to. Don’t worry, seeing it only the way you want to see it is fine too, in fact it’s just as important, but you must understand that there is a difference between what you are looking at and what you see. 

The “Ideas Guy” is a total nerd. His inappropriate use of emojis and internet acronyms makes me so furious sometimes but I totally understand what he’s trying to say most of the time because I speak fluent Internet. His glasses are also too big and when he is pleased he gives an actual real world thumbs up and holds it up for way too long - so uncool. He sent me a string of emojis when I said we were about to start the exercise. I think he was trying to say he was pleased. This is what he sent: “👌🙏“. In his nerd world he probably thought he was telling me "perfect, thank you" but what he was really saying was "anal sex please". I know, what a nerd right? Disgusting! 

Okay so let’s start. Now most people will not understand the purpose of this exercise and I’m not going to explain it because that’s what the "Ideas Guy" asked me to do. So sorry. Here it goes.

Close your eyes. Take one deep breath and keep breathing in. Don’t stop… keep going (I hope you’re not a smoker, he-he-he)… keep going, keep breathing in, don’t stop until you can’t inhale any further. Now just keep the air in there and let it circulate in your brain and in your body. Once you feel like you need more oxygen you can breathe out - but not fast, really slowly. Now, when you feel like you’ve finished exhaling, don’t stop. Keep pushing the air out... keep going... keep going. Don’t stop until you feel like you can’t push any further. Now release and breathe normally. Don’t open your eyes yet. This will take as many seconds, minutes or hours as you want it to take, and if you do it right you’ll never be the same again – in a good way, I promise.

Imagine you’re on a battlefield. It’s vast, massive. The ground is very level. There are bullets flying EVERYWHERE. It’s completely dark. Everywhere is absolutely silent, like when you’re watching porn. There are soldiers and tanks EVERYWHERE but you can’t see much but the tracer bullets. Now, imagine you are a tree, the only tree on the battlefield – and you can’t move AT ALL (obviously). You can’t block anything, you can’t protect yourself, you can’t turn your head to look behind you, you can’t duck. Now feel and breathe deep, and watch the bullets fly all around you. Remember, I didn’t say anything about getting hit, all I said was you can’t move. Now, hold that thought and make sure you don’t get hit. I know it sounds hard but remember this is all happening in your own imagination – you can NEVER get hit, unless you imagine getting hit. So don’t. Just feel awesome and untouchable even though you can’t move. Sometime during the course of your holding the thought there will be a silent explosion, not a very big one, but you’ll know when it happens - it will feel like magic. Once the magic has happened stay there as long as you like and try to think of another word for infinite. Stop when you’ve chosen one. When you open your eyes take a really deep breath like the one we did at the start but release whenever you like and really get centred. That’s the first half of the exercise complete. 

Here's the final part of the exercise. This part is the good part, I promise. Now close your eyes again. Same scenario. Bullets flying everywhere, you can’t move. You initially thought you were screwed but then I reminded you you couldn’t get hit because it was your own imagination, your own creation and hence all you had to do was not think about getting hit. So far so good right? Now, this is the good part. Remember I said you were a tree right? So in reality you really couldn’t have been seeing any of what was going on, what you had been doing in your imagination while imagining was actually imagining seeing. You were totally being awesome there and you didn’t even know it – you were imagining that you were imagining. I bet you feel really awesome, deep and creative right now don’t you? Well you’re about to get more awesome. Now, remember, you’re are a tree and you can’t see; but imagine you suddenly imagined recognising one of the bullets and thinking you had seen it pass by before. Then you thought to yourself how impossible it was to be able to recognise one out of the hundreds of thousands passing you every second. You remain focused and continue to feel awesome and untouchable. All you’re thinking about is not thinking about getting hit and not letting it even cross your mind. Now maintain that focus for another minute or two. You suddenly see another bullet that you know you've seen before, and then another and another; and then you suddenly realise, it’s the same bullets that have been terrorizing you over and over again. They’ve been missing you and circling back to their origin before returning again, not randomly but in an orderly and almost predictable manner. They’ve been going back to the soldiers that shot them, missing them too and coming back at you again. Something strange then happened. One of the bullets circled back but it never returned to you. You saw something like fireworks when it reached its origin and then it disappeared. What happened there, you thought? And you got a hunch: “that soldier just got hit by his own bullet". That’s strange, you thought to yourself, but you stayed focused. After another minute, you suddenly realise that the massive burl that you thought was just a burl in the middle of your trunk is not actually a burl - it’s an eye, yes, just one eye. Remember, you couldn't see all this while, you were just imagining seeing. So you open it quickly, you’re so excited and relieved to be able to actually see, you’re ecstatic. But what you see is totally different from what you were imagining you were seeing. The soldiers were not actually fighting each other, they weren’t even angry at each other at all. They weren’t even soldiers, and there was no war. You were a luxurious apple tree in the middle of a meadow where little kids were playing with boomerangs and yo-yos on a bright Sunday afternoon. The sky was blue and the breeze was cool. It was beautiful with sun flowers and roses everywhere. It smelt amazing. You then opened your eyes in your imagination to end the second imagination you were imagining. 

This is where you open your eyes in real life. 

That was exciting wasn’t it? 

That’s it! My work here is done. I hope you enjoyed it. Back to the “Ideas Guy”.

...

Welcome back.

That was pretty deep wasn’t it? Would you like to know what just happened?

Of course you do.

But think about it for a while and try to figure out why there were two scenarios…

Write in the comments section if you figure out what those two scenarios meant before reading on so the whole world knows how smart you are.

I’ll explain it briefly because I know you’re getting impatient. Remember early in the article when the “Imagination Guy” said people see things differently from what they are sometimes? That’s exactly what that was. The first scenario is how at least 50% of teenagers start to see the real world after they turn 18 and realize they can’t just suck their moms’ breasts when they are hungry anymore and they have to actually get jobs and do something meaningful with their lives. They start to see and feel like it’s a battlefield after a few failed job interviews, some bad relationships and real world scenarios in general, which, to the untrained eye may seem very unfair and unnecessarily uneasy - at least not as easy as just latching onto your mom's boobies for milk like the good old days. Sadly, 50% of those 50% may see it like that for longer than others. The other half will open their eyes and realise what they are actually looking at. Not a real battlefield at all – but a very simple and fair Karma game (hence the boomerangs and yo-yos). Everything you give is coming back to you. If you don't give your all then you will not get all the good things that are coming to you. If you feel like you've got nothing to give then just give love. Give love and you will receive love. See love and you will receive love. Love everything and you will receive everything and more things to love. Hate everything and you will receive nothing but more things to hate. 

You’ve just been born again...

 And you didn’t even get wet. I’m not Jesus so I didn’t need to dip you in any water or even touch you. I’m just the humble “Ideas Guy”. Didn’t I tell you were gonna love this? Told you! Well let’s get back to the task of the day and then we can get to the music news story you and I are both here for. Don’t worry it’s well worth the wait, I promise.

This week’s task is very simple. I want you to pay attention to your metaphorical Yo-yo and your metaphorical Boomerang. The yo-yo symbolizes love and the boomerang symbolizes hate. Pay close attention to your boomerang and make sure you’re not playing with it at all. And no – not even when you order a Frappuccino and they give you a Cappuccino EVERY SINGLE TIME, or when you’re approaching the finish line only to find out your boyfriend had already finished the race when he made a sudden jerking motion like he had just been struck by lightning and is ready to hit the showers. Or when you run out of breast milk and your baby starts looking at other women's breasts. Or when you are desperately awaiting pay day and it falls on a Saturday. Or when your lady friend told you she was on her period but you later discovered she was wearing white panties. 

That’s all for now.

Okay let’s do this music news thingy, you’ve been patient enough. You've been so amazing. In fact here’s a browser cookie – enjoy! He-he-he.

After years of single-handedly conquering and dominating his local and regional underground music scenes, big things are happening and Jackson, Mississippi’s very own Drevo Coolidge has just announced dates for a 2023 US tour commencing on the 29th of April and running up until the 23rd of July. The Blck Tpe Tour, named after his critically acclaimed 6 track February 2023 EP, will be kicking off in Memphis, Tennessee and passing through Atlanta, Georgia; Seattle, Washington; Las Vegas, Nevada; Los Angeles, California; and Miami, Florida; before coming to an end in Dayton, Ohio. Tickets and dates are available on the Skunk Radio Live Events page. Listen to “Blck Tpe” below or stream it on Apple Music, YouTube Music and all popular music streaming and download platforms; as well as selected independent and underground music promotion platforms. Alternatively, just head over to SRL Music by selecting "Music" from the main menu at the top of this page and you can listen to it there and find links to listen on all popular music streaming services where it is available. Happy listening. 

Have a wonderful day, and see you tomorrow. Remember to wake up and be happy, you’re born again now.

Explicit.

If you really love Jesus; this probably isn’t the place God wants you to be right now

INTERVIEWS

HIP HOP NEWS

22-03-2023 14:36 GMT

NO MORE RED TAPES

Music industry update | Mississippi, USA | Indie artist, Coolidge

"Put the kid on one more time!", those were the only words that could express SXSW's appreciation of what was experienced when hip hop artist Drevo Coolidge blazed the stage in front of an unsuspecting crowd on the 18th of March at Club Teller, Austin, Texas, USA. But we'll get back to that music news story a little bit later. First, I've got some important stuff I need to get off my chest. You'll love it, I promise - I mean them ("wink, wink"). 

I wasn’t going to come in to work today, to be honest. I felt like I was looking a little chunky in the dress I had picked out for Wednesday - almost like 50 Cent at the last Super Bowl, but with perkier breasts, he-he-he.  But while I was making brownies after my morning coffee I caught the Holy Ghost (or something) and it brought me straight to you. 

Welcome! I hope you are having a wonderful day. If you are not, we’re about to change that. If you are… I’m sorry to tell you, but it could go either way from here. 

My previous music news article got a lot of people really angry so I’m going to try to be a little gentler with my words today. Just kidding, I totally won’t. In fact here’s a little disclaimer for you before we get started, and I’m saying it out of love and in the nicest way possible: if you really love Jesus; this probably isn’t the place God wants you to be right now. And no, not just when the cops pull you over and you've been drinking, and plus you're on EVERYTHING, but every time. AND you go to church EVERY Sunday (not just on Easter Sunday when you've go a new suit). I’m sorry to have to break it to you so plainly but if you don’t leave right now you’re gonna feel like you sat on a Sneakers bar accidentally after reading this. AND you'll totally love it, to make matters worse. [Read my previous article here to find out why everyone was so mad.] I’m not saying you’ll be gay, I’m just saying I’m about to say some really f*cked up stuff that will make sitting on a Sneakers bar by mistake not seem so bad. I haven’t written it yet but I can feel it coming, like in that Phil Collins song “In The Air Tonight”. Or wait, who sang that song, DMX? Hold on let me Google it. Ah, I see: Lil’ Kim, Ray Wilson, Lostprophets, and more than 87 other musicians and bands I’ve never heard of, plus Phil Collins who originally wrote the song, and DMX who sampled it. To cut a long story short, you’re gonna be more depressed than that Stan guy in that Eminem song, “Stan”. Or wait, who sang that one again? Dildo? Dido? Canibus? WTF! I hate when people borrow songs, like that Kanye West guy, and that Poof Daddy guy too (Oops!! Did I do that? Just kidding, I love Diddy). Just write your own music m-kay? That's all I'm saying. To me, sampling a song is like breaking into somebody’s house and stealing all their good sh*t, and then offering to pay them a little cut of what you sold it for. Am I lying? Isn’t that what they’re doing essentially? He-he-he.

Okay let’s get right into it. Don’t worry we’ll get into the news story right after this, I promise. This is really important stuff that I need to get off my chest first. I hate that Shaq’s girlfriend is regular people’s size. Isn’t that so annoying? Shouldn't he be married to Sasquatch or Godzilla or somebody like that? Nothing that big will fit in any hole, how do they have sex in the armpit? That’s the only place I can think of that will work. Like in that famous Elephant Joke – that should give you a good picture. Wait, don’t tell me you haven’t heard the Elephant Joke. (“Sigh”) What are they teaching you kids in school these days?! I bet you haven’t heard the Mercedes Benz joke either. WHAT?!! Arrrghh! I can’t believe this. Okay I’ll tell you. Well actually I can’t tell you – they’re visual jokes so you’ll have to watch them on YouTube. Here’s the Elephant Joke. And Here’s the Mercedes Benz Joke. When you come back here we will be on the same page and everything I say from here will make total sense to you even though you’d never really thought about it. Like finding out Shaq’s treadmill is the entire length of a football field. 

I was thinking about some of the weird stuff Millennials have said to me in the past that I don't understand. Like: “That’s so lit”... "Sheesh!!"... "Cigarettes are bad, let's smoke these air fresheners instead and call them something cool that sounds like Darth Vader"... and ... "I'm a vegan, I only eat p*ssy on Sundays when Jesus is resting" ... or how about this one? it's my favourite ...  "let's save the planet, but let's burn all this sweet grass first so we can get really high while we're doing it - we'll plant more, promise" ... and ... “your mum is so hawt” ... and ... "let's shit in each other's mouths and call it Milk And Cookies" - seriously, Google Milk And Cookies and see if you ever eat Oreos again. And don't confuse it with Cookies And Milk, which is still disgusting but it's not the same thing at all. You might think I'm making a fuss but trust me, you'll never be the same again if someone you loved and trusted ever tried to shit in your mouth when you least expected it because they thought you knew and were down with the game plan. And there's even weirder stuff they say, like: “tattoos make your d*ck look bigger” and my favourite one: “being gay is trendy”. Okay I know you’ve probably never heard them saying the last two; but I know they’re thinking it. And I respond in thought as well, and an expressionless face like Dua Lipa's: “No, it doesn’t!”, and "f*ck no, being gay is not trendy - people have been being gay for many many years”. Haven’t you heard that Bible passage? You know, THAT Bible passage? Wink, wink, wink. I’m pretty sure whoever wrote it didn’t mean to say it like that, but it was SOOO Gay when I heard it first. In fact when I heard it I got up immediately and walked straight out of the church right in the middle of the mass. I’ve never been back ever since. I’m not going back until somebody fixes that passage. We were in the middle of the third reading and all I heard was: “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat me, you shall have no life in you”. It’s John 6:53, get a Bible and read it for yourself, I didn’t make that up. It’s worded differently in different Bibles but say what you want, I know what I heard, and I’m sticking with it. Okay to be honest, I’m starting to doubt my recollection a bit now so I’m going to bow out of this topic awkwardly when you least expect it – I drink really hard on Saturday nights sometimes, a Saturday night is such a terrible thing to waste. Darn, I knew I shouldn’t have been writing while I was making brownies, it never goes well – last time I dropped my good stylus in the toilet bowl as I was getting up and I had to retrieve it because I needed it for work that day. Aaaarrghhh, does this mean I have to start going to church again? Fuuckkk!!! This is so annoying, I was getting really good at sinning .. Now I have to start paying taxes again and washing my hands when I pee... and stop kissing my friends sometimes to see if I'm still straight after watching MTV for one whole hour (yes, I am - straighter than Indian hair) ... And start paying for parking... and wearing underwear.. and really long skirts... aaargggh! This is BS! Let’s get right down to this news story shall we? 

Today’s music news story features none other than fast-rising Mississippi, US rapper Drevo Coolidge. Things have really been heating up in his career of late and we are watching closely every step of the way to make sure we never miss a beat or even worse, a hit. His new album “Blck Tape” is trending everywhere so if you haven’t got it make sure you check it out on Spotify, Apple Music or whatever music service you use to discover and listen to music. Make sure you add it to all your hip hop playlists too – it’s a classic that you never want to forget, in fact you won’t be able to. Drevo performed on the 18th and 19th at the prestigious SXSW music festival and conference at Club Teller and Soho Lounge respectively. Prior to the event, while in Austin, Texas, he sat down with Gawdcast TV for a long interview and discussed everything that's going on in his career right now, the new album, future plans and everything fans need to know. Watch the full interview below.

Explicit.

Close your eyes - it's darker than that

NEW MUSIC

HIP HOP NEWS

18-03-2023 03:29 GMT

PURPLE PAIN

Music industry update | Wisconsin, USA | Indie artist, Daiyon

Hello and welcome to my little playground, I’m so happy you came. To be honest with you I’ve been expecting you, I knew you’d come. That’s what I’m really happy about, that I was right. But enough about me, how are you doing? How’s your day? Discover anything new and exciting yet? If you haven’t, that’s about to change really fast. If you have, then I’m about to blow your mind sky high, since it has already been primed. 

I’m "the ideas guy" here in the SRL writers room. I don’t write smut, I don’t talk about religion, I don’t talk about money - unless someone is thinking about giving me some; and to be honest with you I’m not in pursuit of mass appeal when I write – it’s totally cool though and I’m sure I will go viral many times before long. My aim as a writer is to create ideas, that’s it. An idea is the most important thing in the whole entire universe. Did you know that? Everything starts with an idea, EVERYTHING. So you’ll be glad you came here today. I know I started by saying "welcome to my little playground" but it’s not little at all - I watched Scarface too many times. It’s vast, and dark, very dark. Close your eyes – it's darker than that. This is really serious stuff we are about to explore, so buckle up. I said we were gonna create ideas right? But how are we gonna do that? We’re going to assume that every idea comes from a brain cell, an "ideas" brain cell let's say, because as I'm sure you can imagine, there are probably many, many types. We’re going to try to create one "ideas" brain cell each time you come here. That sounds pretty simple and straight forward doesn’t it? So let’s get right down to it shall we? And oh by the way, we’re going to name each of these brain cells we create to make them fun and exciting, and also easy to remember. Let’s call the one we’re going to create today Magneto. What do you think? Pretty catchy ey? 

Now, the easiest way to tell if or when Magneto has arrived is if you get a new idea. You’ll find yourself being compelled to do something, it may be something you’ve tried before or something entirely new. You may find yourself reading a book or searching for information somewhere you never thought to look, or downloading an app, or watching a video. But don’t forget, you’ll only get an idea from this exercise m-kay? Nothing else, except maybe a rush. Alright, let’s do it shall we? 

Now, who’s your favourite person in the world? Someone that’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face every single time. And don’t say Miley Cyrus, she’s mine. If you don’t have a favourite person, where is your favourite place in the world? And if you don’t have a favourite place, what makes you feel good? Okay, now hold that thought…

Hold it…

Hold it…

Breathe deep, and breathe out like you just met that favourite person or arrived at that favourite place, or did that thing you like to do. 

Okay you’re ready. 

What’s another word for infinite? Any word, there’s no wrong answer, I promise… 

Really think about it…

Think…

Deeper…

Got one? Let’s go. What did you pick? Limitless? Endless? Huge? Immeasurable? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? Humongous? All great answers but not as great as the answer I’ll give you in a minute or two once we’ve explored a few exciting topics like we’ll be doing every time we meet here to create ideas. 

As I mentioned before, I’m so happy to have you here today. I’m wearing my lime green mankini right now. Not for you, but I just couldn’t resist mentioning it. They’re so soft and comfortable. No one else in the office knows I’m wearing it so let it be our little secret. I know I need to explain, so I’ll just go right ahead and do that so you don’t get weirded out and leave.

My boss is a total weirdo. Really hot, and smells AMAZEBALLS, but I’ve never seen her smile. She always has that look on her face like she suspects you’ve been up to no good, and it’s been at her expense. Like the whole world is planning something behind her back or something. Sometimes when she ends a conversation and leaves she turns around really fast while she’s walking away to see if she catches you doing something behind her back. Every month, around about the second week, or later sometimes, she pops up and selects someone at random. She kicks in the office door and yells out “you, drop down and gimme twenty”. It’s not always twenty, sometimes it’s more sometimes less, and no one has ever been able to give her as many push ups (or whatever exercise) as she has demanded. Not because the number is large but because no one is ever prepared and an item of clothing usually gets ripped or damaged in the process, which is never cool. Oh wait that’s cool now, I forgot. In fact the other day I was so excited to be going to lunch I put my jacket on too fast and ripped the armpit. My first reaction was “Fuck!! my new jacket”, then I remembered and thought to myself – “kids are buying torn clothes now, this is totally fine”. I was totally the coolest person in the office that day. The minute I stepped out of my door I was getting compliments left, right and centre. What a weird day that was. I’ve been saving money on clothes ever since, in fact the socks I’m wearing right now has so many holes in it you’d think they were Madonna’s gloves. The upside is anyone who fails the task is sent home and told to take the rest of the week off – everyone loves that part and is perfectly happy to fail, but not me. So anyway I decided to be prepared because I have a feeling there is a price or something to be gained by whoever completes the task, whether it’s ten or a hundred push ups. I’m a sucker for a price and I WANT IT! To cut a long story short I’ve been wearing this mankini for two weeks straight. I wear it underneath and then take off my clothes once I’m at my desk. I keep my socks and shoes on obviously. I will be ready when that moment comes and whatever the price is, IT WILL BE MINE! M-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! (“villain voice”).

Now, let’s get back to the question I ask you earlier quickly. I can sense you’re getting a little impatient and starting to suspect that this is just a Kanye West style rant that is going absolutely nowhere really slowly. I’m going somewhere with this, I promise. In fact we’re already there. 

As I mentioned earlier, my task today with this little music news article was pretty simple - crucial, but simple. My task was to help you create one new brain cell that will give you an idea. I know you’ve got many and I know you’re creating more and more every second, even as we speak; but this one is a very special one we’re going to create, in fact I have a feeling you might have created it already. Have you? Okay don’t tell me yet, let’s continue. This new brain cell already has a purpose and a destiny even though we technically haven’t created it yet - YOU haven’t created it yet, or maybe you have and you didn’t even know it. The brain cell’s task would be to formulate a single idea centred around that word you chose at the start of the article when I asked you for another word for infinite. What word did you pick? Make sure you remember it because you’ll be coming across it again sometime today, maybe even tomorrow, or later. And it will come with a BIG idea too because infinite is a really big word. Make sure you don’t ignore anything that seems unachievable or too great today because you can totally do it. 

By the way, would you like to know what word I picked? 

Of course you do. 

“Round”, that’s the word I picked. You’d have to have a really special dictionary to find the word round and infinite together, but trust me on that one - it's perfect.

Do you know that every time you encounter a new problem and have to find a solution to it you have to create a brain cell in the way we just did? Assuming we succeeded, that is. Of course you do, or else you wouldn't be here, reading this. Or maybe you didn’t know, but I’m pretty sure you suspected something like that was happening behind the scenes inside your head.

My task today has now been completed and we can move on to the music news story you and I both are here for. The reason I picked that task today was to shed light on the fact that with every new gadget invented to solve our problems, humans create less problem solving brain cells – the same brain cells that bring about big ideas, geniuses, and other intelligent stuff. AI is coming, in fact it’s already here. So you’ll need to be really sharp to remain relevant, we’ll all need to be. When I thought about how ridiculous it was that I had worn the same mankini for four weeks (I know I said two – I lied, I didn’t want you to think I was absolutely bonkers) while I was looking in the mirror and adjusting my bits, I realised my boss was just keeping us on our toes and helping us to keep generating new "ideas" brain cells and stay sharp by presenting us with an unpredictable situation that would always keep us thinking. It really got me thinking, and I might have created a new brain cell that gave me the idea to tell someone else (YOU) about the great revelation I had. Ideally you in turn will do the same thing, and then the person you tell will also be compelled to do the same, and tell someone who will tell someone, and the cycle will continue - round and round, and round and round, and round and round again. Remember the word I said I picked earlier as a synonym for infinite? ROUND. See? Clever ey? Capeesh?

Now let’s get right down to this music news story shall we? Now that I’m completely satisfied that I’ve totally boggled your mind and left you astounded – my main goal every time I pick up a pen to write. Yes! (“fist pump emoji”)

Wait, something tells me you were expecting more on the topic of that brain cell you were going to create - Magneto. There’s no more to be said, either you created it at some point during the course of this article or not. If you did, you’ll know. Hold that word you chose in your mind and if you remember it at some point after you’ve forgotten about it, you probably did – and your big idea will arrive at some point. Write in the comment section when it arrives okay? 

Okay the music news story now, I think my boss has arrived and is circling, and may be heading this way anytime now. Shhh!!! Let's do this quick. 

The new album “Purple Pain” by one of the most watched and most talked about emerging Wisconsin, US rapper Daiyon was released to critical acclaim on the 7th of March, 2023, just over 11 days ago. It follows a series of highly praised records by the fast-rising underground hip hop star that have left critics, fellow rappers, fans, and the industry as a whole lost for words. It’s his third album three years in a row, and each one has grossly surpassed its predecessor and left every listener with nothing left to wish for. Daiyon has been praised for his authenticity and originality since the start of his career several years ago. His creativity seems to know no bounds and he leaves no stone unturned in exploring his seemingly limitless artistic potential to paint the perfect picture every single time. With singles like “We Live”, “Hands Up” and “See Me Now”, he put his name on the map as one of the next big names in hip hop. He has evolved progressively every year since, and more so especially during the last 3 years. The new album “Purple Pain” is now in the Top 100 and Top 200 iTunes Charts and continues to rise quickly. “Purple Pain” is available to stream and download on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music and all popular digital music streaming and discovery platforms. Listen to the full album in the Spotify music player below. 

As usual, there will be a thorough review of the full 13 track album on SRL Reviews in the coming weeks. 

Have a genius day, from me “the ideas guy” and the rest of the team here at the SRL writers room. See you tomorrow.

Explicit.

Shhh! Don't tell anyone...

NEW MUSIC VIDEOS

HIP HOP NEWS

13-03-2023 16:22 GMT

BACK TO THE …

Music industry update | North Carolina, USA | Indie artist, Yung Rackz

The other day I read one of the other writers here say something about never having had writer's block and bragging about it like a little twat. Being a writer and saying you’ve never had writer’s block is like a teenager saying they’ve never had a pimple. The other day I saw a young lad with a huge pimple ON TOP of another pimple. It was disgusting. It made me so annoyed. I told him to look the other way and then I pounced on him and tried to pop it (or them). I managed to pop only one but it was really satisfying. 

But where were we? Ah yes, the newbie who says he’s never had writer’s block. I’m sure he’s in the writer’s chat room and is reading this article live as I'm writing it right now but I’ll continue talking about him anyway. Aha, here come the egg plant emojis telling me I'm a "you know what". I knew it, he's here. I’ve read many of his articles and I’m certain he’s had it many times, he was just too much of a newbie to know he was having it – and yes, that’s possible. It’s possible to be absolutely wrong and not even know it. Like when I used to tell Jehovah’s Witnesses they were full of shit and give them a sachet of laxatives before slamming the door and going back to sleep on Sunday mornings. I thought they were f*ing with me when they told me I had to kick a bucket first and then wet someone's beak a little bit before I could meet MY OWN lord and saviour, so I thought it was only right I f*cked with them back. Right? Well, as it turns out, nope! That's childish. But let’s not get into that now mkay. Anyway, that’s that as per that – every writer has had writer’s block. I don’t care if you are William Shakespeare or Jane Austen; or that Harry Potter lady, what’s her name again? I know, who gives a f* right? After what she said about the ... em.. em... The ... Okay I'm lost for words, they've changed their names more times than Puff Daddy and I don't want to offend them by saying the wrong one. But you know who I mean. Let's call them the Teletubbies (because everyone love the Teletubbies) for now so no one knows who we're talking about when we say it mkay? Shhh! Don't tell anyone. I mean, gays have been calling their butt holes p*ssies since the dawn of time, that's not news. And who cares? That’s nothing to get upset or jealous about. Just take care of yours like you’ve been doing, and just deal with it children's book lady, m-kay? There’s so much going on in the world right now, let’s move on before I hit a backlash sweet spot. Wait, have I hit it? I hope not. Let’s move on QUICK!

I hate to tell you this but I feel like I should be honest with you. I’m totally hung over right now, and I’m not sure if I might say some things that may offend you so I’ll try to keep this brief and segue into the music news story of the day as smoothly and as comfortably for you as possible. I thought I had writer’s block in the morning then I remember I was at this wild party last night and I totally got wasted. To cut a long story short, I took the train to work this morning and I’ve just downloaded this “find my car” app thingy because I did the right thing and didn’t drive home last night after the party – mainly because I couldn’t find my car, but whatever. I hate to be the one to say it but London’s South Eastern railway network needs to step up their game. That was the slowest journey I’ve ever had my entire life. At some point I felt like getting out onto the tracks and pushing the train so it could move a little quicker, good lord it was annoying. I’m not proud of it but I totally passed out owing to the build up of rage and all the alcohol and stuff that was inside me. I woke up ages later and we were only at the next stop. There was a homeless man sitting right opposite me when I woke up. He was looking straight at me, and he was eating my sandwich and using my laptop. I was FURIOUS. I didn’t see the laptop at the time but he was looking down at his laps every now and again and fiddling around. I thought he was probably just having an erection or something. There was a table in-between us so I couldn't see what was going on. I screamed at him “WTF are you doing? That’s my sandwich!!”. And he responded calmly, as if I was bothering him, “I thought you were done with it”. I screamed back at him, “It wasn’t even opened yet!!!”. He said “Yeah I know, I had to open it obviously”. And then he paused mid-bite, apologised and handed it back to me, "Here, you want it back? I'm sorry".  I was so steamed. I smacked it away, crossed my arms and pouted like a sissy. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't about to fight a dirty homeless man. As he stood up to leave the train at the next stop I noticed my laptop and said “You f*cker!! That’s my laptop too!!”. He said “No, it’s a tablet”. I wasn’t gonna get into an argument with him, I just grabbed it “Gimme by my tablet you bastard”. He left. I suddenly realised we had been the only ones in the carriage all along. I wiped it down furiously with some antibacterial wipes. 

When I opened my tablet I was shocked to discover he had written this article and stopped at the end of the previous paragraph where I started telling the story. It was amazing when I read it and I didn’t change a thing. That wasn’t the first time I met my lord and saviour. The first time I met him, I was in Jamaica sitting under a palm tree burning a really big bush, but that’s another story. Prior to party, and the whole incident after, I remember leaving the office early in the day suspecting I was coming down with writer’s block – I was. So I did what I’d normally do when I come down with it - absolutely nothing. I sat down in a comfortable chair and watched the clock tick for a while, and then it came to me. The message I have been commissioned by the universe to deliver to you today, which you’ve been eagerly anticipating even without knowing it was here. And it is this: you’re only ever right at the right time. If you suck, buy a watch, and watch it really closely – your life could change. Personally, I never wear a watch. But then again I don’t suck at all, in fact I’m awesome. I had writer’s block because I was writing on a Sunday afternoon when I knew I was supposed to be having a happy ending massage and eating Skittles, in preparation for the week ahead. Oops!! I meant a spa day, obviously; and eating Skittles. I was doing it at the wrong time so it wasn't happening. Sometimes I sneak into the office when no one is there to get a little extra work in so I can get ahead of my competitors. I know it’s a bad habit but I’m working on it. So there you have it, my message for you today – “You are only ever right at the right time”. I don’t know why the universe wanted you to know that but I’m sure you know. Now let’s get right down to this exciting music news story I’ve been waiting to tell you about. This is so awesome, you’re gonna love it.

He's without doubt one of the most successful and most influential underground hip hop artists out of  North Carolina, USA in over a decade, and Yung Rackz is not slowing down or stopping anytime soon. Taking the region by storm with the release of the critically acclaimed single “Back In The Day” several years ago, Rackz has persistently blazed a trail and is ranked number one by most, if not all self-respecting hip hop music critics and fans who know anything about rap music. Defying all expectations every single time, the Winston Salem sensation has over 25 critically acclaimed records under his belt including more than 9 albums. He was even co-signed by legendary award-winning hip hop artist Jadakiss back in 2020 when he released the massive “Trapademic” mixtape which has become one of his most talked about records to date and is still getting a lot of love even after 2 subsequent, also highly acclaimed full length albums – “Lost Tapes” in 2022; and his latest “Blessing Out The Trap”, a massive 17 track album which was released back in January and is causing pandemonium everywhere. 

On the 11th of March, Rackz released the music video for “Back 2 Da Block”, which sits in position number 12 of his latest album “Blessing Out The Trap” and which continues to receive rave reviews and abundant radio airplay. The new music video is available to stream and download on YouTube and other music video streaming platforms, as well as selected indie music promotion platforms. But don’t worry, you don’t need to go anywhere. Just scroll down below to watch it right here right now.

Okay! So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I’d like to wish you a very joyous, prosperous and harmonious day. See you tomorrow. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Explicit.

Everything is SHEET!

NEW MUSIC

HIP HOP NEWS

03-03-2023 15:30 GMT

BLCK TAPE

Music industry update | Mississippi, USA | Indie artist, Coolidge

I feel really dirty right after I’ve done my best work. Is that weird? I’m not a coal worker or a masseuse or anything that requires much sweating or meeting or touching other people, or other people touching me; but when I sit down and write and it’s better than the last time I did it, I feel filthy and disgusting, like I’ve just purged something that needed to be purged. Does that ever happen to you?

Let me explain. When I first arrived at the SRL Music News room on my first day at work, the first thing I noticed was that there was a shower right on the left of the entrance. I thought to myself "that’s awkward, I'm never showering here". I've never been more wrong. And then I looked closer and saw a small sign that read “no ball games, mkay?”. I thought to myself “what kind of sick twisted homophobic place is this?” I went in to investigate and my eyes were immediately met by a well-built man walking out of a shower stall with a really small towel, almost the size of a face cloth on his shoulder. He was grabbing his crotch like they do on MTV, and rubbing it a little bit like Michael Jackson, as if he was feeling something owing to some really deep thoughts. He had really piercing eyes and when he noticed someone staring out of his peripheral he didn’t even stop to pay any attention. It was Monday morning so I thought to myself again “what the f* IS this place?” After spending ten plus years at SRL, I finally appreciate the importance of the shower. I’m about to be really awesome right now. So buckle up! I’m gonna need a really long shower after this. 

When people ask me how I became such an amazing and successful writer my response is the same every time. “F* off! And F* You for asking”. I don’t say it to them but I’m thinking it, he-he-he. Then I respond with something really ambiguous and abstruse, and walk off leaving them in a state of shock and confusion while simultaneously trying to decipher my clever or meaningless words. My new intern asked me that last week, I totally f*cked his head up with the answer I gave him. He still looks at me funny and tries not to make eye contact. Now, imagine you are an overenthusiastic, overambitious, really hot teenage boy (not cool hot - sweaty hot, you know from all the raging hormones and the persistent boners that need to be tamed), dressed from head to toe in Armani but with a bus pass sticking out of your back pocket and the outline of a condom that you obviously carry everywhere vaguely noticeable in your shirt pocket. I’ve been there, I know, that’s totally not weird – you wanna be ready whenever and WHEREVER the moment arrives right? You'd hate to miss a perfectly good opportunity to play your first round of golf because of something as silly as not bringing a hat. That’s totally cool, but that’s not your size silly boy. ("Patting you on the head with a pitiful smile - in my mind - in your imagination of this scenario. "). You just graduated from music school and you are so ambitious, so determined you’d put hot sauce on your ear and fight Mike Tyson to make it in the music business, if that's what it takes. So you ask your boss (me), who by the way you look up to and think is so cool…and smells really awesome all the time too: “I read your last article, it was so amazing. How’d you become such a great writer?” I got pissed off! I looked you straight in the eyes and then pierced your soul ever so gently with my rage, just a little bit - so you could really feel where I was coming from (not to hurt you obviously). And My response was: “You young f*, EVERYTHING IS SH*T! EVERYTHING!”. Then I walked away calmly. I apologised later that day even though I knew the damage had already been done - we're still totally cool. He even bought me coffee the other day. Wait, should I not have drunk it? OMG, I hope he didn't stir it with his willy or put something disgusting inside it. I feel awful now, I think I'm gonna throw up... Oh wait no, I think I'm good, it was just gas... I also felt really bad for calling him Young F*, I had been listening to that old rapper Young Buck of the hip hop crew G-Unit earlier that morning so I just played with the name a little bit and blurted it like a crazy person. He has since adopted it as his rap name and everyone thinks it's really catchy. See? Wasn't all bad after all. Everyone's happy. 

I know you need an explanation for the rest of what I said, so I’ll go ahead and dive right into it. I live my life by a very simple philosophy that most people would generally have the tendency to think is weird, but it’s totally not - I promise. I’m not weird. You think I’m really cool remember? And I smell really good. When was the last time you met someone weird who smelled really good? I know, never right? I’ve never really told anybody but I was really pissed off that day because I had some important stuff to do and I generally hate when people ask me questions. Again that’s totally not weird. That’s just my thing – don’t ask me questions. I believe in the philosophy so strongly that I wrote it on the back of one of my business cards the day I discovered it and I’ve carried it everywhere I've gone ever since. In fact I’ve got it in my chest pocket right now. My philosophy is , and you probably know this already if you know me but it will shed so much light on so many things: “everything is Sh*t”, and if you didn’t understand it the first and the second time – “EVERYTHING, SHYTE!”.

I can only imagine the shock on the face of whoever receives that business card in the event that I accidentally give it to someone, he-he-he. And what is it with people and business cards? Why do they always turn the back of card the minute you give it to them? Try it, give the next person you see your business card and see if they don’t look at the back of it at some point before putting it in their pocket. If you don’t have a business card give them a piece of paper with something written on it and specifically tell them the information they need is only on the front.

But where were we? Ah yes…

Remember at the start of the article when I mentioned that my reaction to that question was to respond with something really ambiguous and abstruse, and walk off leaving the subject in a state of shock and confusion while simultaneously trying to decipher my clever or meaningless words? I was totally going to do that to you, but you’re so persuasive (darn you!), so I’ll explain.

Have you ever bought a new phone? And then after about a year or even less of using it, looked at the old one that you thought was so awesome?

See? There, you have it! Deciphered.

Everything needs improving. If it looks like sh*t a year after you had the new one and it hadn’t changed a bit since the first day you bought it, except for the scratches on the screen and any damage you did to it, then it WAS shit to begin with – you just had nothing better to compare it with. The point is everything needs improving – everyone needs improving. No matter how amazing you are you’ll always have to be better, and if you do look back at your old self the chances of you thinking you were sh*t may not be very slim depending on how much better you’ve become at the time of looking back. So there you have it. Doesn’t seem like such a weird philosophy now does it? But don’t feel bad, that’s nothing to feel bad about, I promise. I totally forgive you.

And finally, to sum things up: the reason I gave that as my response to the question “how’d you become such a great writer?” is that I never like to think about how great I am or how great I want to become – I’d rather think about how much I want to improve. Hence the rage when asked.

Phew! To be honest with you I can’t believe we’ve strayed so far from what you and I both came here for. I would be sorry but I’m not because I’ve just managed to get a huge load off my chest and off my mind. In case you didn’t know already – SRL's writers room runs on a cloud-based collaborative writing software thingy. That means all the writers who bothered to come into work today and do some actual work can see everything I’m writing and can comment and interact anonymously – I’m also anonymous. We’re all anonymous in the cloud but we can easily guess or speculate on who’s writing. So they probably know it's me from my writing style and the things I've said, and I haven’t received a single eggplant emoji through out this writing session. I feel so awesome right now. Oops!! I spoke too soon, here they come – one, two, three eggplant emojis just arrived. Sigh! And I thought I was doing great. Wait yuk!! Someone just kissed one of the eggplant emojis. Yuk, yuk, yuk. I’m getting the hell out of here, there are obviously some sick writers in here today. Oh wait, the news story. Let’s do it.

On the 11th of February, 2 0 23 when Mississippi rapper Drevo Coolidge released what was expected to be his best work to date, after years of evolving progressively and persistently defying the expectations of even the most discerning hip hop music critics, everyone who has followed since the start of his illustrious independent music career knew it was gonna be huge. How huge was the only thing that was uncertain. With songs like “Decimals”, “Can I Have Your Number” - one of his earlier works but still a classic, “Red Alert”, “Vinci Code” , “Passport”, and the list goes on and on and on; Coolidge has defined and redefined himself year after year and is now at a place sonically where some of the greatest rappers in the game right now may only be able to dream of. Creative freedom is what makes independent artists so special to the music industry but when an artist is free to create anything at any given time it is possible for them to stray too far from the sweet spots of the very music fans they make the music for at the time of making it. This is never the case with Coolidge and that’s what makes him so special. That’s also what makes this new release so extra-special according to many critics and fans. It’s everything you didn’t expect to hear yet it sounds so familiar and so natural. The numbers are jumping and “Blck Tape” is being discussed and promoted by almost every self-respecting independent music outlet out there on the wild wild web so of course we’ll be reviewing it in the coming days to tell you how amazing it is and how much more amazing it is than the last major album, “King Drevo” which was released back in 2021, and all the exciting EPs and singles that followed. The new album is available to stream and download on Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal and all popular digital music streaming and download platforms; as well as selected indie/independent/underground/emerging/upcoming music promotion and music discovery platforms.

Of course, as is customary, there are a good number of concert dates lined up to promote the new album. There is even talk of a Blck Tape Tour in the works. As usual, concert tickets, radio dates, online events and details of other live appearances where you can see and/or hear the fast-rising Jackson, Mississippi sensation live in the flesh are available on the Skunk Radio Live Events page. His next live appearance has been scheduled for the 4th of March, 2023 when he will be performing live at the MPV Lounge in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Get your tickets before they're all gone. Alright I think it's time for me to hit the office showers now. It's been emotional. Have a wonderful day, I know I will. See you tomorrow.

Explicit.