INTERVIEWS
HIP HOP NEWS
22-03-2023 14:36 GMT
NO MORE RED TAPES
"Put the kid on one more time!", those were the only words that could express SXSW's appreciation of what was experienced when hip hop artist Drevo Coolidge blazed the stage in front of an unsuspecting crowd on the 18th of March at Club Teller, Austin, Texas, USA. But we'll get back to that music news story a little bit later. First, I've got some important stuff I need to get off my chest. You'll love it, I promise - I mean them ("wink, wink").
Welcome! I hope you are having a wonderful day. If you are not, we’re about to change that. If you are… I’m sorry to tell you, but it could go either way from here.
My previous music news article got a lot of people really angry so I’m going to try to be a little gentler with my words today. Just kidding, I totally won’t. In fact here’s a little disclaimer for you before we get started, and I’m saying it out of love and in the nicest way possible: if you really love Jesus; this probably isn’t the place God wants you to be right now. And no, not just when the cops pull you over and you've been drinking, and plus you're on EVERYTHING, but every time. AND you go to church EVERY Sunday (not just on Easter Sunday when you've go a new suit). I’m sorry to have to break it to you so plainly but if you don’t leave right now you’re gonna feel like you sat on a Sneakers bar accidentally after reading this. AND you'll totally love it, to make matters worse. [Read my previous article here to find out why everyone was so mad.] I’m not saying you’ll be gay, I’m just saying I’m about to say some really f*cked up stuff that will make sitting on a Sneakers bar by mistake not seem so bad. I haven’t written it yet but I can feel it coming, like in that Phil Collins song “In The Air Tonight”. Or wait, who sang that song, DMX? Hold on let me Google it. Ah, I see: Lil’ Kim, Ray Wilson, Lostprophets, and more than 87 other musicians and bands I’ve never heard of, plus Phil Collins who originally wrote the song, and DMX who sampled it. To cut a long story short, you’re gonna be more depressed than that Stan guy in that Eminem song, “Stan”. Or wait, who sang that one again? Dildo? Dido? Canibus? WTF! I hate when people borrow songs, like that Kanye West guy, and that Poof Daddy guy too (Oops!! Did I do that? Just kidding, I love Diddy). Just write your own music m-kay? That's all I'm saying. To me, sampling a song is like breaking into somebody’s house and stealing all their good sh*t, and then offering to pay them a little cut of what you sold it for. Am I lying? Isn’t that what they’re doing essentially? He-he-he.
Okay let’s get right into it. Don’t worry we’ll get into the news story right after this, I promise. This is really important stuff that I need to get off my chest first. I hate that Shaq’s girlfriend is regular people’s size. Isn’t that so annoying? Shouldn't he be married to Sasquatch or Godzilla or somebody like that? Nothing that big will fit in any hole, how do they have sex in the armpit? That’s the only place I can think of that will work. Like in that famous Elephant Joke – that should give you a good picture. Wait, don’t tell me you haven’t heard the Elephant Joke. (“Sigh”) What are they teaching you kids in school these days?! I bet you haven’t heard the Mercedes Benz joke either. WHAT?!! Arrrghh! I can’t believe this. Okay I’ll tell you. Well actually I can’t tell you – they’re visual jokes so you’ll have to watch them on YouTube. Here’s the Elephant Joke. And Here’s the Mercedes Benz Joke. When you come back here we will be on the same page and everything I say from here will make total sense to you even though you’d never really thought about it. Like finding out Shaq’s treadmill is the entire length of a football field.
I was thinking about some of the weird stuff Millennials have said to me in the past that I don't understand. Like: “That’s so lit”... "Sheesh!!"... "Cigarettes are bad, let's smoke these air fresheners instead and call them something cool that sounds like Darth Vader"... and ... "I'm a vegan, I only eat p*ssy on Sundays when Jesus is resting" ... or how about this one? it's my favourite ... "let's save the planet, but let's burn all this sweet grass first so we can get really high while we're doing it - we'll plant more, promise" ... and ... “your mum is so hawt” ... and ... "let's shit in each other's mouths and call it Milk And Cookies" - seriously, Google Milk And Cookies and see if you ever eat Oreos again. And don't confuse it with Cookies And Milk, which is still disgusting but it's not the same thing at all. You might think I'm making a fuss but trust me, you'll never be the same again if someone you loved and trusted ever tried to shit in your mouth when you least expected it because they thought you knew and were down with the game plan. And there's even weirder stuff they say, like: “tattoos make your d*ck look bigger” and my favourite one: “being gay is trendy”. Okay I know you’ve probably never heard them saying the last two; but I know they’re thinking it. And I respond in thought as well, and an expressionless face like Dua Lipa's: “No, it doesn’t!”, and "f*ck no, being gay is not trendy - people have been being gay for many many years”. Haven’t you heard that Bible passage? You know, THAT Bible passage? Wink, wink, wink. I’m pretty sure whoever wrote it didn’t mean to say it like that, but it was SOOO Gay when I heard it first. In fact when I heard it I got up immediately and walked straight out of the church right in the middle of the mass. I’ve never been back ever since. I’m not going back until somebody fixes that passage. We were in the middle of the third reading and all I heard was: “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat me, you shall have no life in you”. It’s John 6:53, get a Bible and read it for yourself, I didn’t make that up. It’s worded differently in different Bibles but say what you want, I know what I heard, and I’m sticking with it. Okay to be honest, I’m starting to doubt my recollection a bit now so I’m going to bow out of this topic awkwardly when you least expect it – I drink really hard on Saturday nights sometimes, a Saturday night is such a terrible thing to waste. Darn, I knew I shouldn’t have been writing while I was making brownies, it never goes well – last time I dropped my good stylus in the toilet bowl as I was getting up and I had to retrieve it because I needed it for work that day. Aaaarrghhh, does this mean I have to start going to church again? Fuuckkk!!! This is so annoying, I was getting really good at sinning .. Now I have to start paying taxes again and washing my hands when I pee... and stop kissing my friends sometimes to see if I'm still straight after watching MTV for one whole hour (yes, I am - straighter than Indian hair) ... And start paying for parking... and wearing underwear.. and really long skirts... aaargggh! This is BS! Let’s get right down to this news story shall we?
Today’s music news story features none other than fast-rising Mississippi, US rapper Drevo Coolidge. Things have really been heating up in his career of late and we are watching closely every step of the way to make sure we never miss a beat or even worse, a hit. His new album “Blck Tape” is trending everywhere so if you haven’t got it make sure you check it out on Spotify, Apple Music or whatever music service you use to discover and listen to music. Make sure you add it to all your hip hop playlists too – it’s a classic that you never want to forget, in fact you won’t be able to. Drevo performed on the 18th and 19th at the prestigious SXSW music festival and conference at Club Teller and Soho Lounge respectively. Prior to the event, while in Austin, Texas, he sat down with Gawdcast TV for a long interview and discussed everything that's going on in his career right now, the new album, future plans and everything fans need to know. Watch the full interview below.
Explicit.
Watch full interview on YouTube:
Stream the Blck Tape on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/album/1TE11Gzh7yAiXX065RvUp3
Follow Coolidge on Twitter:
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