TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS/DATES
HIP HOP NEWS
26-12-2025 15:32 GMT
STRANGE MUSIC
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| Music industry update | Wisconsin, USA | Indie artist, Daiyon |
My name is Vagitarius. I’m the new guy here at the SRL Writers Room. I know you’re wondering, what kind of name that is. It’s just my pen name. If you don’t know what it means by now I have a feeling you’ll never know. And no, it has nothing to do with the lower regions of a lady’s anatomy, whatever you choose to call it, don’t be dirty. To be honest with you the name came to me before it took on its meaning. Strange things happen like that for me sometimes because I’m Vagitarius. I’d explain it to you but you probably wouldn’t understand. Okay I’ll try. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like the outcome of the situation had already happened before the cause of the situation even existed? And that the only explanation for the outcome ever existing could only have been exactly that - that it had to have already happened before you caused it? And hence it wasn’t really your fault even though it totally was? If you understand what I’m saying then you know where I’m coming from. If not, you’d better read on.
Today is a special day for you because you’ve met me. It’s also a special day for me because I’ve met you. But more special for you obviously, because I’m way more awesome than you right now. "How do I know?", you ask. To which I reply, "I just do". And I’ll tell you why. I THINK I’m greater than everyone else, therefore I am. That’s why. I’d suggest you do the same too, but I won’t. I’m not sure you’re ready for the consequences of being this awesome. And by that, I don’t mean bad things come with it. You see, there’s no such thing as a bad thing when you’re Vagitarius. There are only things. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t make them bad, they’re just things. Okay let’s just leave it at that, before “things” get complicated. I’m awesome, that’s all you need to know. Well, that, and also that my intention while writing this article is that you too will feel pretty darn awesome yourself, by the end of it. Okay let’s go.
From this point onwards I want you to read this article a little bit differently from how you would normally read. I want you to pass your eyes over the words indifferently like they mean nothing but at the same time pay close attention to each word and let each sink into your brain. Kind of like the way you would read something if you were extremely tipsy but not drunk – slowly, but with a sense of wonder and a distant, detached feeling that you have little control of. Once you’ve reached the paragraph where the actual Music News article starts you’ll know why Vagitarius is better than you (right now).
So here’s a little backstory on how I got the name. Before I started my job here at SRL, I was a total loser. Okay not a loser, loser; that’s too strong – let’s just say I was financially challenged. Everytime I had maxed out all my credit cards I moved to a new house, added a new middle initial to my name and one year to my date of birth and applied for a new one. Then another, and another. By the time I started work here, I was about a hundred years old on paper. I was so lonely I used to order Amazon deliveries everyday just so I could feel like someone was coming to visit me everyday. One day I ran out of things to order so I mailed an empty box to myself by special delivery. It arrived the next day. As the mailman handed it to me he shook it, as if he had done it before already. And with an expressionless face and a slightly raised eyebrow he said, “this box is empty”. I had to think of something quick, then I replied, “it’s oxygen”. To which, to my surprise he replied “Aaaah, nice” and nodded as he walked away. He added, “I’ve always wanted to try that, is it good?” I said, “it’s awesome”. That brought me to my next big idea for when I would inevitably have maxed out my last credit card in the future. I was going to sell “oxygen”. I signed up with Amazon Business, designed some fancy boxes and bought a tonne of balloons. Each box of “oxygen” contained 1 inflated balloon and the only instruction at the top of the fancy box was “pierce here”. Once pierced a slight hissing sound would be heard as the “oxygen” was released slowly. It was a big hit on Amazon, business was booming. For about a month, until I received my first check of £10,000. Elon Musk called me on Facetime, holding the box to his ear like the mailman did, and said, exactly as the mail man did, with an expressionless face and one eyebrow raised, “this box is empty”. To cut a long story short I moved to a new house; and added a new initial to my name and another year to my date of birth. As my date of birth approached 100, I knew I’d have to come up with a new plan. I spent hours thinking everyday for weeks and couldn’t come up with anything. With ten thousand bucks to play with from Amazon I started to go outside a little bit more and meet more people. Amazon and JustEat were no longer my only form of human contact and I no longer had to live with the guilt of feeding the local pigeons KFC every morning because I got lonely and had ordered JustEat too many times the night before. Those poor pigeons. I’m sure they’re all cannibals now.
One day after a gruelling session at the gym I was at a really quiet, dark, cosy bar with a peaceful, almost soothing ambiance having a drink or 6. I saw this gorgeous little lady from afar. I couldn’t tell if she was a nasty, dirty b*tch disguised as a lady but I liked her. I liked her A LOT. I vaguely thought about talking to her and having absolutely nothing to say as was usually the case. I had an intense feeling of desire inside me and my “little buddy” was very happy too. He wiggled around uncontrollably, as if trying to get out of the zipper so he could see what I was seeing. As I gazed at her from the distance, I could almost smell her hair and taste her soft red lips. I imagined her bent over the bar stool next to me, complying silently as I ravaged her from behind. When I finished, I pulled out, slapped the connie on her back and left without saying thank you. Then, while still in my thoughts, I thought to myself “what a slut”. This all happened in my imagination in the twinkle of an eye. And then I snapped out of it, turned away to face the bar and ordered two drinks. Three seconds had passed. Don’t ask me how I knew it was three, I just knew. Someone walked up to me from behind, saying in a soft sweet voice, almost like an angel: “you look like a gentleman”. I was in the middle of a sip of really hard liquor so I almost choked while replying and chuckling at the same time in a really hoarse voice: “that’s hilarious”. It made me really angry because at that point in my life I was everything BUT a gentleman. In fact, I was just at the bar to get a few drinks in me before heading down to my local oriental massage parlour for my weekly happy ending massage with all the “extras” and more – my new form of human contact at the time, thanks to the Amazon money. As I looked back I realised it was her, the girl I was looking at a few seconds ago. I had already given her a nickname in my head. It was Red, because she had on matt red lipstick, thickly applied to perfection. I quickly revised what I had said: “I mean … ” Then I paused. I’d run out of words, I had to think fast, what rhymes with “that’s hilarious”? I couldn’t think of anything so I said “Vagitarius, and you?”. She replied, to my astonishment: “Red”. I couldn’t believe my ears. She continued: “Red wine, that’s what I’m drinking” as she sat down seductively and arrogantly on the bar stool I had ravaged her on earlier in my head. I immediately thought to myself, “what a slut” and that very moment, coincidentally, the DJ played my favourite song, “At Last” by Etta James, softly in the background.
We ended up dating for quite a while.
One day I was at her house early in the morning. I usually do my thinking really early in the morning before everyone wakes up. I was thinking about how to get some money. The mailman knocked. She was still asleep so I answered the door to collect her mail. It was that pesky old mailman from my other flat where I started the Amazon business. It was weird. As usual he had an expressionless face. He handed me the mail. It was to my surprise… yep, you guessed right – a credit card, her credit card. My eyes opened wide and as I shut the door a light bulb turned on inside my head. I had just discovered my next venture. It wasn’t a new venture, just a new and improved way of pursuing the old venture. Instead of moving houses every time my credit cards got maxed out I could just date a hundred girls in the neighbourhood, move in with them, receive my credit cards when they’ve gone to work or are asleep, and then break up once the first statement is due to arrive. It worked. At one time I had about 10 girlfriends in the same neighbourhood and they all knew each other. Business was booming once again. And then one day, I was at a girlfriend’s house and my real girlfriend Red showed up. She was really hurt, I’d never seen anyone so sad in my entire life. I really liked her, but she walked away and didn’t say a word. We both knew it was over. Later that night when I went over to her place to pack all my things, I stole one of her red panties and put in a Pringles can. I still have it in my kitchen cabinet till this day. It's Paprika.
Everything went south from there onwards. The credit card companies had apparently tied all my names together and created one huge bad credit history file and one BIG ASS credit card bill. I couldn’t even say my full name anywhere in public without getting declined in some way or the other. But don’t worry, I set up a payment plan and started paying it all back £5 a month. It should be all paid off by the time I am 919 years old 😊. Until then, I’ll keep fit and smoke all my vegetables. Oops!! I mean eat – eat all my vegetables.
Fast forward to now...
So now you know, a little bit about me. If you don’t like me that’s your business. Now, inside this long story I’ve just told you there is 3 gems. If you can find them the world is yours, but don’t worry if you can’t, just read it over and over and they will find you. Now, let’s get right down to the Music News story you and I are here for shall we?
In today’s music news, we’re going to discuss the latest happenings in the life of one of the most promising new hip hop artists that is set to take over the world of hip hop in ways that haven’t been done in a very long time. His respect for the artform, his ways with words; and determination and drive in fulfilling his desire to be the word’s greatest are seeing to it that major record labels and fans have little choice but to follow and partake in his journey, which began several years ago in Wisconsin, USA where he is from. Having amassed a repertoire like no other, he now travels all across the country performing for larger and larger crowds and sharing the stage with bigger names everytime.
Following the release of his latest single “Trust Exercise” on the 12th of December, Daiyon is currently on a promotional tour with Strange Music Inc, a renowned independent record label founded by critically acclaimed platinum recording rapper and songwriter Tech Nyne, who is known for his signature fast-rhyming style and hip hop hits like “Caribou Lou” and “Hood Go Crazy”. The tour is scheduled to pass through venues in Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona, with more dates to be confirmed in the coming weeks. Stream and download Daiyon’s new single on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music and all top music streaming and download platforms. Listen to the new single below.
Explicit.
Spotify:
Stream "Trust Exercise" by Daiyon:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/trust-exercise-single/1854944497
In today’s music news, we’re going to discuss the latest happenings in the life of one of the most promising new hip hop artists that is set to take over the world of hip hop in ways that haven’t been done in a very long time. His respect for the artform, his ways with words; and determination and drive in fulfilling his desire to be the word’s greatest are seeing to it that major record labels and fans have little choice but to follow and partake in his journey, which began several years ago in Wisconsin, USA where he is from. Having amassed a repertoire like no other, he now travels all across the country performing for larger and larger crowds and sharing the stage with bigger names everytime.
Following the release of his latest single “Trust Exercise” on the 12th of December, Daiyon is currently on a promotional tour with Strange Music Inc, a renowned independent record label founded by critically acclaimed platinum recording rapper and songwriter Tech Nyne, who is known for his signature fast-rhyming style and hip hop hits like “Caribou Lou” and “Hood Go Crazy”. The tour is scheduled to pass through venues in Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona, with more dates to be confirmed in the coming weeks. Stream and download Daiyon’s new single on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music and all top music streaming and download platforms. Listen to the new single below.
Explicit.
Spotify:
Stream "Trust Exercise" by Daiyon:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/trust-exercise-single/1854944497
Follow Daiyon on Twitter:
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For hip hop audio/video licensing, hip hop promotion, Artists And Repertoire (A&R) or artist/band booking inquiries please contact the public relations department at music-pr@srlnetworks.com
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