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08-01-2023 17:27 GMT


Indie Music Press Releases (January 2023) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Soul artists, bands & labels with news updates announcing the latest music releases, live events/gigs, concert/tour dates, & other entertainment stories, articles & headlines from your favorite indie Soul performers & entertainers daily on SRL News.
Music industry update | California, USA | Indie singer songwriter, Ava Lemert

Sometime last year, I saw a headline on a very popular music website that I will not name, and not because I think their writers totally suck ass obviously. The headline read “Jay Z and Blue Ivy Carter Have Father Daughter Date at NBA Finals”. Yep, writers read stuff written by other writers. How would we know when we’ve become the best if we didn’t know how crap others were? The headline was just as cliché and tacky as it was annoying and cringe-worthy. Father-Daughter date? WTF!! Yuk, yuk, yuk. Those three words should never be used next to each other in a sentence ever - not in this sick, twisted, sex-crazed world we live in today. Not sure what whoever wrote that article was thinking but the word “date” instantaneously gets me aroused and excited in ways that completely annihilate the words "daughter" and "father" from my vocabulary for the 3 minutes that immediately ensue. As far as I’m concerned a date is just a sex interview between two adults and at least one person on every single date is hoping to get lucky. If I’m on a date with you, you can bet your last penny I’ve got lube, 2 condoms, mace – in case I change my mind and I’ve already got you going; a pink feather (for tickling of course – you know, to find your sweet spot); 2 dildos (only sometimes); and my underwear will probably melt away if the date lasts longer that 45 minutes because it’s made of liquorish or chocolate. Yes, I’m a total slut alright – sue me for trying to have a good time every once in a while! But that wasn’t the point. My point was that many of these writers out there need to step their games up and start writing less cliché headlines that read like they took less than 30 seconds and were a no-brainer to come up with. If I wrote that story the headline would be something like “Tell Those Teenage Horn Dogs to Quit Staring Before I Come Over There and Smack Them. And Take Their Hats Too.” See how catchy and exciting that was? And it even made sense too. Damn it I’m good! Thanks for thinking it but I know, I’m the best. That’s why I’ll never write for Pop Sugar, or even the New Yorker. Yuk, yuk, yuk, such nerds, he-he-he. Just kidding of course, I love New York. But their apples are too big, let’s be honest – who is eating them, giants? 

Okay let’s dive straight into this music news story, the one we’re both here to discuss; and the one that will hopefully get us to our next passionately explosive moment of musical ecstasy. Wait, that’s what you came here for right? Cool, glad we’re on the same track. (See what I did there? Same "TRACK"? I told you I was good.) 

The critically acclaimed 2022 single “Big Horn Blues” by California, US based independent saxophonist and singer songwriter Ava Lemert has been receiving a lot of love lately and I just wanted to share it with you so that you can also share it with others and we can all have one big party across the globe listening to it at the same time during Ava’s next live streamed concert, which takes place every Friday night. Yes, I changed the title a little bit to make the headline a little more catchy and to attract a sizeable chunk of the millions of horny teenagers that make the internet smell funny but feel so alive at the same time. 

I used to be such an integrous writer, but to be honest it got me nowhere so I decided to resort to sneaky writing practices and talking about sex stuff like most of the other writers do here – and it totally worked. Being the first female writer at the SRL Music News room wasn’t easy. No one ever wanted to publish my work.  They claimed it was drab and too politically correct to get any attention on the Wild Wild Web. After a few months of rejection and a few office parties I started to loosen up and then something happened one day. I had been out with some of the guys for dinner. We had a lot of chicken drumsticks and too much wine. I was a little over tipsy and these words came out of my mouth as I belched loudly with my hand on my belly and my head tilted backwards as if it was too heavy while trying to walk – “Ooooh my God, I’ve got more dark meat inside me than Kim Kardashian.” 

WTF? Where did it come from? Who said that? No one could believe it. The dark rooms, overly liberal atmosphere, casual work environment and carefree attitudes of the SRL News Room had started rubbing off on me. I was becoming a total scumbag – and I loved it! 

The next day when I got into the office one of the guys dropped a pen like they had done every single day since I started working in the news room – and I bent over really slowly so my skirt could ride up a little bit, turned around to watch as all the jaws dropped, smiled and I picked it! Just like that, my best writer was born. I’ve never had an article rejected since. 

The time has come for me to take my career to the next level so I’m going to do something a little drastic. I want to go Kanye West on the literary world and say something really awful about Jewish people so that I too can be the most Googled person on earth. I’ll ease into it casually sometime during the course of my career, not necessarily in this article. Make sure you stop everything you are doing and share it immediately with everyone you know so that I can get in some real trouble and find a way of capitalizing on the bad publicity okay? Thanks. 

Now where were we? 

Ah yes, Ava’s song. 

Released during the earlier part of last year, “Big Horn Blues” is just one of several highly praised independent soul records that got the genre’s fans and critics excited again. Ava is one of those artists that never seizes to amaze. She pushes the limits every time, and every new song draws her closer to the hearts of her very loyal fan base, who have stuck with her through the ten plus years of her illustrious independent music career. Ava’s next weekly live stream is coming up, so make sure you tune in and request “Big Horn Blues”. 


Did you really think I was going to say something bad about Jewish people? Come on! I’d never do any such think, not even for a billion likes. I love Sarah Silverman too much, she’s so cute and huggable, and her butt is so small. I'm pretty sure she has the smallest vagina ever made. I’m not gay at all but I sometimes totally have fantasies about having a sleepover with her and shaving her big bush when she falls asleep. 

Just for the record, I love Jews okay? Jesus is so cool and he always gives me money. 
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